Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 81787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 409(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 409(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
When I reached the top step, I walked into his office. I could see through the doorway that he was in there at his desk. His back was to me, and he was standing there with a drink in his hand, looking down at something.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, stepping into the room.
He looked over his shoulder at me. “Yeah. For now. Carda has agreed to back out of things with the Fotilas in exchange for Maxon and our protection. They own them a good bit of money but for their loyalty the Hughes are helping them with that issue. Maxon has been given orders by his father not to go anywhere near you. The Fotilas are a fight we will have to face, but you’re not involved in that.”
So, he was sending me home. All the things I had planned on saying to change his mind about us seemed to vanish. I was panicking. I couldn’t leave him. Did it mean we were done? That we’d go back to the way we had been before?
“I don’t want Sarah back at school yet. She’s going to stay home and return after the holidays. I need to be sure she’s safe.”
I agreed. That was a good plan. Now, where did that leave me?
He turned fully around then and leaned against his desk, crossing his ankles as he studied me, taking a drink from his whiskey glass.
I should talk now. Plead my case. Beg him not to stop whatever it was we had been doing. Sure, I wanted it to mean something to him, but when we were together, it felt as if I did—at least for that moment. It was more than I’d had for the past nine years, and I wanted it more than I did my next breath.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he said.
As the words registered, I almost sank to my knees and wept with relief.
“Okay,” I replied, my heart racing in my chest.
“Stay through Christmas. Sarah would love it. I need your help with her classwork, and someone needs to be here with her when I have to step out to handle things.”
The immediate deflation I felt wasn’t because I didn’t want to do those things. I adored being with Sarah. I’d just let myself think for a minute that it was because he wanted me here.
I managed a forced smile and a nod. “Sure. Yes. Of course.” I had to get out of this room before I embarrassed myself. “I’ll go, uh, get ready for bed.” I stammered out my words, then spun around quickly to flee with as much grace as possible.
“Oakley!” His stern tone stopped me.
I took a deep breath, composed myself, then turned back to face him. “Yes?”
He set his drink down beside him and straightened his stance. “What’s wrong? Do you want to leave?”
I almost laughed. That had to be a joke. “No.” I shook my head. “I would love to spend the month of December with you and Sarah. I’m normally alone most of the holidays. Especially the years it’s your turn to have Sarah for Christmas.”
His dark eyes studied me. “Then, why are you leaving to go get ready for bed? You’ve been showering with me the past two nights.”
I wanted to scream, Because I don’t know what we are or what you want. I refrained and managed to stay calm. “Your reasons for me staying were all for Sarah. I assumed that meant you, or we, or whatever we were doing was done.”
He raised one lone eyebrow. “Did you want me to say I’d like you to stay because I want to keep fucking you for hours every night or that I’m not ready to stop waking up with you, sweet and willing, in my arms? Because I can promise you, both of those are reasons.”
I licked my lips as I stood there, slightly dazed by his words. He wasn’t done with me yet. This wasn’t ending. “So, you won’t get tired of me if I’m here for the month?” That was a logical fear.
He shook his head slowly as he started walking toward me. “No, Oakley. I doubt any man could ever get tired of you. Although it would be best if I could.” He stopped and brushed my hair back from my face. His eyes roaming over me, as if attempting to absorb every detail. “I try not to want you. I try not to think about you. I try real hard not to be so fucking happy when you walk in a room. But it’s proving to be as impossible now as it was then.”
“Really?” I breathed, scared to believe him.
“Yes.”
“I’m afraid of losing you,” I blurted out. “It’s just. I … I can’t seem to keep sex and my feelings separate. Not with you.”
I watched as his nostrils flared and the veins in his neck stood out.