Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 45328 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45328 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
I’m not sure what finally pushed her ass to come sniffing after me again. But I know all her tells. What’s going on with her right now is, she’s finally figured out that she fucked up so she wants me to bury my head in the sand and pretend she didn’t fuck me over.
She’s not gonna say sorry, she never does. I blame her over indulgent parents for that shit. Her spoilt ass has been getting away with shit since the day she was born.
She’s not purposefully selfish, it’s just who the fuck she is. She thinks life should go according to her plans and everyone in her orbit is supposed to cater to her shit and go along with it.
I’d been happy to play that game up to a point three years ago when we met. Now that I’d been burned by her fucked up mentality I wasn’t about to put myself through that shit again.
That’s not gonna happen. No way will I ever let her get that close to me again. Fucking her sweet ass into next week is all well and good, but once my emotions start taking me back there, to a place I once thought was good but had turned to shit, that’s where I draw the line.
10
I couldn’t stand my own company so I got dressed and went for a run with my annoying ass dog next to me.
I took him to his favorite playground and he lost the sullen look from his face. Great, now I have to bribe the mutt so he won’t leave me in the doghouse.
I sat there with the other owners watching him act the damn fool and finally had to accept the truth. No matter how hard or far I ran I can’t outrun the thoughts in my head.
She’d infiltrated again, broken through the defenses I could’ve sworn I’d built after the number she did on me. Why else would I be so consumed with thoughts of her again?
Why else would the idea that maybe this time things would be different keep slipping into my mind when I least expect it?
I couldn’t even find solace in taking my dog to the damn park to play; she followed me even here. I was starting to miss her when she wasn’t there. Even now when I’m trying to get away, my thoughts are full of her.
This is one of those times when I hate her. I hate that she can still make me feel anything for her. Anything other than hate that is.
I hate that I fucking miss her, that I even for one second gave thought to going back there and climbing back into that bed with her.
By the time I got back to the apartment, which was only half the size of the home I’d built her, us. I had a new plan in mind.
I made some calls and was on my way to the airfield where I keep my Gulf in less than two hours.
Just for spite I didn’t even call her and tell her I wouldn’t be in town for the next week. I blocked her number for the duration and only felt a little guilty about doing it.
There was only one moment of doubt when I questioned whether there was any truth to her being followed shit.
I shrugged it off. She’ll be fine. The house is secure and she has a staff that comes in during the day so she won’t be alone.
Besides, hadn’t she been doing fine without me these last few months? Just because we were fucking didn’t mean I had to go all out and play the sap again.
I threw myself into a new venture; something that I knew would take all my time and energy and keep my mind occupied.
And though I didn’t have my usual verve and excitement because she was constantly in the back of my damn mind, I made myself stay.
By day three I was finally hitting my stride and by the time I dropped my head on the pillow at night, she was only the last thing I thought of before sleep finally took me.
I made myself forget her during the day. It took work, but it could be done and that’s all I really needed to know.
I needed to be sure that she could no longer twist me in knots the way she had before she threw me away.
I didn’t see it as being weak, the love I had for her. But I’d obviously missed a step somewhere. While I was being the man I thought a good husband was supposed to be, she was just going through the motions.
I would never have accused her without absolute proof. Would never have thrown away what we had on a whim.
I know men in my position have a reputation for philandering and other depraved bullshit. But having money didn’t change who I was as a person.