Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 74256 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74256 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
No matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t put into words what I was feeling. I knew that I needed to be his pillar of support, which was a feat not letting my fear show.
We have days before he ships out. Days. My visit here will be cut short. Tears well in my eyes from the knowledge that he’s going overseas. I’m so glad I accepted his invitation to come and visit.
I don’t want him to go.
My tears begin rolling down my cheeks. I try to choke them back, but it’s no use.
“I’m here.” Chad wraps his arms even tighter around my waist and buries his face in my neck. “I’m right here.” My body shakes with silent sobs. I know I should be strong for him, but the fear of losing him is choking me. I can feel it in my throat every time I swallow.
“I’m sorry.” The sorrow in my voice is like a knife twisting in my soul.
“Baby, no,” he says, kissing my shoulder. “I know this is hard for you.”
“You’re the one leaving. You’re the one putting your life on the line. I’m supposed to be strong for you. I’m supposed to be your support system.”
“You are here for me. I’m holding you. There is nothing in this world I’d rather be doing on my last days here than this.”
“I hate your job. I know that’s selfish of me, but I do, Chad. I hate it. I know what you do is selfless and admirable, but it’s taking you even farther away from me. I hate that so much.” Tears run freely down my cheeks.
He doesn’t comment, and I didn’t expect him to. Chad, just like my brother, is honorable. He loves his country, and he loves what he does. He may hate that this job is taking him away from me, but it’s his duty, one he’s honored and proud to be a part of. I love him even more for it.
Rolling over, I place my hand on his cheek. “Promise me you’ll be safe.” My words are whispered, but the plea and the desperation are clear.
“I promise.”
“Promise me you’ll come home to me.”
Something flashes in his eyes, but it’s gone before I can name it. “I promise you I’ll do everything in my power to come home to you.” He pulls me in and presses his lips to my forehead.
He didn’t promise me he was coming home, but we both pretend like I don’t notice. I know it’s not fair to ask that of him, but my heart wants to hear him tell me everything is going to be okay.
“What do you want to do today?” he asks.
“I don’t care as long as I’m with you.”
“I don’t go back to work, outside of a few meetings, before we leave. I want to spend every second that I’m not there with you.”
I nod, unable to speak because I’m afraid nothing will come out of my mouth but the sob I keep trying to choke back.
“How about we get ready and go grab some breakfast? We can do some sightseeing.”
I nod my agreement.
“You want to shower first?”
“No. You go ahead.” He kisses the corner of my mouth before sliding out of bed and heading toward the shower. As soon as the door closes and the water turns on, the sob I was trying to contain breaks free. I allow myself a few minutes to let it all out before climbing out of bed, and gathering my clothes. I have to hold it in. I can be sad, but I can’t let him see how much this hurts.
I can’t let myself think about the what-ifs.
I can’t let myself think about losing him.
“I’m so full.” I push my plate away from me. We’re sitting in a small diner on the edge of town and I feel as though I just ate my weight in pancakes and bacon.
“You barely touched it.” Chad digs his fork into my leftover pancakes and takes a huge bite.
“Did you see the size of that stack? It’s over halfway gone,” I argue.
“Lightweight,” he teases, taking another bite, before placing his fork and napkin on his now empty plate.
“We all can’t be human garbage disposals.” I stick my tongue out at him, and he laughs.
He lifts his shirt. “I burn a lot of calories to keep this.” He runs his hands over his washboard abs.
“Can you please put your shirt down? People are trying to eat.” I pretend like he’s offending people, when really all he’s doing is making my mouth water.
“You jealous, baby?” he asks. His eyes sparkle with mischief, and I make sure to lock that look away, to memorize it so I have something to hold on to while he’s gone.
“No.” Kind of, but I’d never tell him that.
“Uh-huh.” He chuckles. “Let me pay the bill, and we can go.”