Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 91434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
“You’re a liar,” she hisses, right before she softly sniffles back, then advances on me. “I don’t believe you.”
“How can you even say that?” I ask in disbelief. “There was never any question about how much I loved you.”
“You moved on,” she retorts, her own tears running down her face, “and pretty quickly too—”
“I never moved on,” I cut her off, “never.”
“You moved on,” she repeats in almost a whisper. “I may have left town, but I never moved on,” she sobs. My hand comes out of my pocket to grab her neck, but she moves away from my touch, and my hand falls to my side. “She was carrying your baby two months after I left!” she shouts at me. “Two fucking months.” She shakes her head. “Sixty fucking days and you moved on.”
“You left me, and I was destroyed. I was either drunk or in a daze, taking whatever pills I could have taken, drinking whatever I could to make sure if the pills didn’t work, the booze would,” I explain, and her eyes go big at that. “Anything to numb the pain. I don’t even know why I did it. But I did, and then she was standing there telling me she was having my child. I fucked up in the most momentous way, but I had to do what was right. It wasn’t the child’s fault I was a fuckup.” I take a step toward her, closing the distance, hating that I’m hurting her again. Hating I’ve caused her this pain. Hating she thought I would ever move on from her. “Baby.”
“Don’t say that.” She closes her eyes. “Don’t call me that.” Her head hangs down, and I move to her, taking her in my arms, and she finally lets me touch her. I hold her in my arms, closing my own eyes as her tears seep into my shirt and into my skin.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she says, moving away. “I can’t. I don’t have anything left in me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” I sigh heavily. “I don’t want to fucking hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.” My heart seizes in my chest.
“But you did.” Her voice is broken. “You broke me to the point where I didn’t even think I would be able to live another day. To the point where breathing hurt. To the point where every single limb on my body felt dead.” I listen to her break in front of me. “Then knowing someone else was carrying your child. Carrying what was supposed to be ours. What was supposed to be mine.”
“I can’t regret Saige,” I say. “I won’t. She was the only reason I got up in the morning. The only reason I didn’t just end everything. I won’t regret her.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” she gasps. “You wouldn’t be the man I thought you were if you did. She’s yours, fuck, Brock, she’s so beautiful.” She smiles through the tears. “So fucking beautiful, she took my breath away.”
“Another reason I love you. You are the strongest person I know.” I close my eyes. “I know if I would have come face-to-face with a child you had with someone else, I would not have survived it.”
“Stop saying that,” she whispers. “Stop saying that.”
“I can’t,” I admit. “You think because I had a child with someone else, that I never loved you. That I could stop loving you. You left me, and you broke me. Ruined me.”
“You married her,” she states softly. “You made vows to her. Vowed to love her forever. Made her promises.” I shake my head.
“I married her in a courthouse. I didn’t say any vows to her. They asked me if I took her to be my wife, and I said yes, but I never made her any promises. I couldn’t make her any promises. I couldn’t even vow for it to be forever. I thought it was the right thing to do, but she knew. She knew it was never going to be like that. She knew she would never have that. She thought she could live with it, and even if she could have, I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t live with it anymore, and I left her.” I run my hands through my hair.
“It’s never been anyone but you. It will never be anyone but you. I can’t fight it anymore. I won’t fight it anymore. I’m a shell of a man. I’m existing and living for my daughter. I thought I would be okay with that, and then you came back to town, and all of a sudden, everything feels so empty. My life is colorless. You come back to town, and all of the hurt of you leaving me is gone. All of the hatred I thought I had toward it is gone, and all I want to do is come to you and tell you how sorry I am. How much I love you. How much I want to make it up to you. How much I’ve missed you. How just looking at you and seeing you smile makes it all better.” I take a deep inhale.