Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 91434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
“You good?” Charlie asks from beside me.
“Yup,” I reply, keeping my eyes looking straight ahead. Autumn places a coaster in front of me and puts down the glass. “Thanks.” I take the glass up and hold it tighter than I should. It’s a miracle that it doesn’t shatter in my hand. I bring the glass to my lips and take a gulp instead of downing the whole thing so I can get the fuck out of here.
“Sent you a text,” Charlie states, and if I look at him, I’ll see her, but if I don’t, she’ll know it gets to me. Either decision means I lose, and she wins. But it’s no surprise. She’s always won when it came to me.
“Yeah, I got it,” I confirm, turning and staring at him but wanting to go over to Emmett and rip his fucking arms off him.
“You never got back to me.”
“Didn’t know there was a need to reply.” I look forward, feeling the ache fill my chest, finishing the drink and then placing the empty glass on the bar. “Thanks, Autumn.” I reach in my back pocket and toss two twenties on the bar. “See you guys around.” Charlie nods at me. He looks like he has other things to say, but I need to get out of here. Even my breathing is becoming labored.
I turn and walk straight past the dancing, seeing the sight of peach turning around and hearing her laugh as I make my way out into the darkness. I think the tightness will get better, but instead, it’s so tight I have to stop beside my truck and put one hand on the side of it, or else I think I’m going to fall on my ass. I close my eyes, and instead of getting into my truck, I make my way to the forest and toward the creek.
I don’t even know why I keep coming back here at this point. It’s like I’m a glutton for this punishment. It’s like I want to feel this pain, but in the end, I know it’s the only place I can go to where I can feel close to her without admitting it to anyone, least of all to myself.
I get to the creek to our spot and sit down, putting my knees up and leaning my forearms on them as I look out at the water trickling by. Closing my eyes, I think of all the fucking times we came here. All the moments we’ve shared here.
Fuck, so many that it’s all coming back to me, from the first time I kissed her to the last time I made love to her here.
I hear the sound of the branches snap and close my eyes, wiping away the tears that have escaped from the corners of my eyes.
I hear her before I see her. Getting up to my feet, I watch her walk down here with her head down. She looks up when she must feel me looking at her. “Brock,” she says my name in a whisper.
“Why do you always keep coming back here?” I ask the loaded question, hoping her answer is like mine.
She folds her arms over her chest. “Why do you?”
I think about fighting with her, but I’m just tired of this. I’m so fucking tired. “I was thinking about that same question when I got here,” I admit, putting my hands in my back pockets. “It’s probably because it holds so many memories for me.” Her mouth opens as she silently sighs. “Now, why do you keep coming here?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I just do. It’s peaceful.”
“It is,” I agree with her. “It’s why we picked it in the first place.” She walks to me. “All of our moments were here.” She looks up at me. “So again, why do you keep coming here?” I ask, almost begging her to answer me with what I want to hear. She just stares at me, not giving me anything. “I’m tired, Everleigh,” I confess, my voice broken and even I hear it. “I’m so fucking tired of this.”
“What are you saying right now?” she asks, her chest rising and falling as if she’s running a marathon and not standing in front of me still.
“I’m saying I’m fucking tired of pretending I hate you. I’m tired of fighting with you. I’m just fucking tired of this.” I close my eyes and look to the side. “Don’t get me wrong, you leaving me broke me, and I hated you. I hated you so much for giving up on me so easily. Hated you for not being by my side during the biggest hurdle of my life. Hated you for not knowing I would have never done anything to hurt you.” The tears finally escape the corners of my eyes, and I hope in the darkness she doesn’t see them. “I’ve never, ever loved anyone the way I love you. Not ever. Not before, not now, and I now know I never will.”