Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 109976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 550(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 550(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
I knew and accepted before the night was over, that I’d found my ‘one’. After the couple of hours I’d stayed there, there was no other conclusion for a thinking man like myself to come to. Just my fucking luck, unlike everything else in life, love didn’t come easy. She was already married.
I tried telling myself that I was wrong, that it couldn’t be love; any fuck else but that. But the racing heart each time my eyes even glanced at her, the way my cock stayed hard around her, and then later, the way I could sense her in this big city any time she was near all combined to convince me I was way gone over her.
I’d fallen hard and fast for my beauty, but because she belonged to someone else…no, because she was married, I’ll never accept that she belonged to him. Either way I had to let her go. It goes against my honor to sleep with another man’s wife.
It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my thirty-two years of life, almost like cutting off a limb. But I did it for her, for me, for us. Even though I didn’t know how back then, I always knew that some day I’d have her, that she’d be mine, but not while she still wore another man’s ring on her finger.
I don’t think she knew at first, how I felt about her. One of the things I like about her is her innocence, her sweet naivety while living in the land of snakes. It’s one of the first things I noticed about her that first night. But it wasn’t so easy to keep my feelings hidden from the woman who owned me with just one look, though I tried.
After that first night, each time I saw her I bled a little inside. I’m no wet behind the ears teenage boy so I didn’t spend my days sitting around giving her puppy dog looks and shit. At least I was spared that indignity.
But I learned real quick that love don’t give a fuck how hard you are, that shit will take you down and make you its bitch. I didn’t eat or sleep right for days after our first meeting, and haven’t fared much better in the time since.
I would’ve been fine had I not noticed the change in her as well. After that first night she’d blush each time she saw me, or start fidgeting around like she didn’t know what to do with herself. It took me a while to realize that she was going through the same shit I was. At least that’s what I told myself was going on with her.
The first time we were alone together, I felt it. And it only took me looking into her eyes to see the truth. I’d come damn close to crossing the line into the forbidden that day. Her allure was that strong. Strong enough to make me go back on everything I believe in.
Before that day because I wasn’t completely sure how she felt, and because I’m a glutton for punishment, I’d needed to know. So I’d made myself see her again. The shit was eating me up inside, the thought that I could’ve fallen that hard for someone who didn’t return the feeling.
I knew her asshole husband, fuck that he was, wouldn’t mind that I showed up at his home under the guise of looking for him when I knew damn good and well that he wasn’t going to be there. That’s the kind of fool he was, dying for my friendship, or more to the point, my deep pockets.
So I went to their home that last time, just to see if my suspicions were right. Even though I’d already told myself she was hands-off, I needed that much for fuck sake.
So when she opened the door and that look came into her eyes before she lowered them, I knew. I can still remember it like it was yesterday and now replayed it in my head the way I have so many times before.
“Look at me!” She’d shaken her head no and bitten into her lip with that telltale blush on her cheeks as she stared down at her bare feet. I remember the baggy shorts and halter top she wore that day that made her look like a teenager instead of the twenty-six year old she actually was.
I lifted her head with my finger under her chin, the only place I’d allowed myself to touch. I don’t know how long we stood there looking into each other’s eyes, but it was long enough for me to know that we were both fucked.
I didn’t know what to say to her now that I had the answer I was looking for. She was still married, still off-limits and I wasn’t about to put her in a sticky situation. As much as I hated her husband’s guts, she was my first priority. I had to protect her even against myself.