Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“I think I want to go back to my house today…to feel close to my parents.”
Shit. I hadn’t even thought of that, but it made sense. “Okay.” Leaning forward, I kissed the tip of his nose. We were at a weird place at the moment. I’d taken off, and then all the stuff with my dad. It was like we were in a field of landmines, and I wasn’t sure where to step or what was expected of me.
“Will you come home with me?” Kellan finally asked, and some of the pressure leaked from my chest.
“Yeah, baby boy. Of course.”
Kellan smiled before looking over at Griff, who was ten or so feet away from us, likely hanging around to see what would happen. “I’m going to ride home with Chase.”
“Our place?” Griff asked, and Kellan nodded.
We were quiet on the drive to their house. Quiet as we went inside. We needed to talk, but I was letting him lead the way.
“I feel gross. I need a shower. You’re welcome to join me.”
“I’d love to.”
We stripped bare and hopped into the shower in Kellan’s en suite. He was the first to slip under the spray, water sluicing down his slender body, his hair plastered to his forehead as he closed his eyes.
My chest swelled as I stood there looking at him, at this man I had known most of my life and had loved maybe longer than I’d let myself see. “Christ, you’re beautiful.” I brushed my finger along his collarbone.
Kellan’s eyes opened, and he stood there looking at me. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing you say things like that to me, Chase Hawthorne.”
“It’s true. You are. I’ll never stop saying it, but I also love that after everything, I still affect you that way.”
“You always will, silly man,” he said with a playful smile, but one that told me he wasn’t ready to talk about everything yet. I nodded that I understood.
We washed up, got out, and dried off. With the towels wrapped around our waists, we brushed our teeth, still quiet and almost unsure around each other.
“I know we need to talk, but I’m so tired, Chase. It’s been a lot to take in, the past few days. Hell, the past few weeks.”
It had been like a roller coaster. We were so high that morning in my bathroom, Kellan shaving me after the night we’d had. From there it felt like one thing after another: Griff finding out, the photographs, the consequences for our jobs and personal lives, me pulling away, running, my father, his parents. We were due some downtime after all that. “I’m not going anywhere,” I replied, hoping he knew I wasn’t.
We took off our towels, I turned off the lights, and we climbed into bed together. Kellan was asleep the second his head hit the pillow, but he wasn’t resting peacefully. I wondered where his mind had gone, what he was dreaming or thinking about.
It took me a while, but eventually I fell asleep as well. The next thing I knew, I woke with a start and looked at my cell phone to see I’d slept for about twelve hours. Kellan was still passed out beside me, his forehead creased, a small frown on his lips.
As quietly as I could, I slipped out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats. Not wanting to wake him, I used the bathroom in the hallway, then made my way to the kitchen. It was early morning. I didn’t expect to see Griffin sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him, but there he was.
He looked up at me as I walked in, an awkward moment between us that had never been there until recently, then nodded toward the coffeepot. “It’s fresh. You’re welcome to it.”
“Thanks. Did you get any sleep?” I asked as I got some much-needed caffeine.
“Some. Probably not enough. Kell still in bed?” His voice was raspy and tired.
“Yeah, he needs it. You do too.”
“And you,” Griffin said as I sat in the chair across from him. We were quiet, each sipping our drinks, the air heavy with tension and unsaid words.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I said, “I’m sorry, Griff, about how things went down. That I kept something so important from you. It was wrong. I should have told you, but I was afraid to lose you. You’re my brother. My best friend. The first person in this world who ever made me feel worthy of some kind of love. I know that’s not an excuse, because I hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that, but…I can’t regret him. I really do love him. Being with Kellan is…it’s right.”
Griffin took a sip of his coffee, then cleared his throat. “I know. I can see how much you care about him, and he’s sure as shit always loved you. The thing is, as angry and hurt as I was, I don’t think I was surprised. It just…fit. You’ve always had a soft spot for him. You’ve always cared about him in ways that weren’t simply the little brother of your best friend. I didn’t want to admit that because…hell, I don’t even know why. And the truth is, I probably wouldn’t have made it easy on you had I known from the beginning, because I’m pretty sure it didn’t start out as serious as it is now.”