Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
He cocked a brow at me, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. Damn, it felt good to laugh with Griffin again, but I definitely wasn’t going to tell him about hooking up with Kellan. “No comment.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t have let you get into it either. I’d rather not know.” We both laughed again before Griff continued. “I’ve put a lot of pressure on Kellan, and that’s something I have to work through and come to terms with. He’s his own man, and I haven’t treated him that way. I trust him. I trust you.”
“Thank you.” Christ, I’d needed to hear that. “I don’t want to lose you, brother.”
“You never will,” Griffin replied.
It wouldn’t be completely smooth sailing, how could it be? The dynamics of our relationships had changed, but sitting there with him, I somehow knew it would be okay. At least this part of it.
As if he could read my thoughts, Griffin said, “This whole thing with your dad, though, and with Jimmy. It’s a clusterfuck, and I don’t quite know where it’ll end up.”
Neither of us did. My dad could be lying. Hell, my dad could have played a part in it with Jimmy. My gut believed him, but again, that could be wishful thinking. “I don’t know what I’ll do, Griff. I don’t know how I’ll—”
“You’ll keep on going like you always do. And you’ll stay loyal, and you’ll love my brother, and you won’t let that other shit matter, because Kellan sure as hell won’t let it. I won’t let it.”
I shook my head, unable to understand how I’d gotten so lucky. How these two men could be willing to stay by my side, even if it did somehow come out that my father had something to do with the murder of their parents.
“You’re not him, Chase. You never have been and you never will be, and you can’t hold yourself accountable for his shit. None of it will be easy, but we’ll get through it, no matter what.”
“Thank you.” And then we were both standing, then hugging, and in that moment, all the other shit disappeared. We were Chase and Griffin, best buds. Brothers.
At the creak of a floorboard, we both turned to see Kellan there. He looked sleepy, his hair messy, a pair of low-slung sweats on his slender hips, that tattoo peeking out at me.
“I’ll give you two some privacy.” Griffin grabbed his keys off the hook on the wall, then his phone. On the way to the door, he ruffled Kellan’s hair. Kell jerked back and groaned, Griff was laughing as he left.
“Hi,” Kellan said softly, vulnerably.
“You want some coffee? I can make you a cup.”
He shook his head, walked over to the couch, and sat down. He pulled his knees close to his chest, his feet flat on the cushion, and wrapped his arms around his legs.
There was an uncomfortable tightness in my chest as I walked over and sat beside him.
“I thought you were running away from me again,” Kellan said, his words piercing my heart.
Shit. I hadn’t even thought of that. “I wouldn’t. I’d never do that.”
“Maybe you know, but I didn’t. You left when I was eighteen because you couldn’t handle what happened between us, and I thought…I thought you couldn’t handle everything again, and that you weren’t going to come back. Maybe I shouldn’t have because you texted, but that didn’t matter. I can’t be afraid that every time something happens that spooks you, you’re going to run.”
Guilt sat heavy, a weight in my chest. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that. My head was all screwed up. I was afraid my dad had something to do with your parents, and I…” I’d run. But not for good. I would never have left Kellan again. I couldn’t. I loved him too much. “My reasons don’t matter. You’re right, and I’m so sorry for that. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than by your side. I won’t run, not ever, no matter what.”
“I’ve spent my whole life wanting you, my whole life giving chase, and I can’t do that anymore. I love you and want you. It would kill me to lose you, but we have to be in this together. Things might be a whole lot harder before they get easier, Chase, and I can’t worry that you’re going to take off because you feel guilty or don’t know how to deal with it all. You have to be honest with me, all the time. You have to trust me. You have to trust us.”
“I trust you.” I reached out and cupped his cheek, brushed my thumb beneath his eye. “I trust us. I’m not going anywhere without you. As long as you want me, this is where I’ll be. You’re it for me. You’re my home.”
His chin trembled slightly, but he didn’t cry. He pushed forward and straddled my lap, his hands on my face as he looked at me. “I love you, Chase Hawthorne. I’ll always love you.”