Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 68920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
“What are you doing? It’s spring break. You should be out doing things,” he mutters, his voice husky.
I shrug. “We were supposed to spend the break together doing things. Without you, I have no one to do them with.”
He frowns and sits on the edge of my bed. So close. I could reach out and link my fingers with his. But I don’t. He’s drawn the line in the sand and he wants me to stay on my side.
In another life…
This life requires lines.
This life says we must obey laws.
He reaches over and grabs my hand. “Rylie.”
I’m focused on the strength and heat emanating from his grip. The way he holds me in an intimate way despite the line he drew. My heart flutters inside me.
“Hudson.”
“Let’s get out of here. I’ll take you to a movie or something. You need to get out of bed,” he says, his thumb swiping over the back of my hand. Chills race up my arm from his touch and I shudder. He seems to think I’m cold because he lets go of my hand long enough to curl up beside me on the bed. A strong, warm, heavy arm drapes over my waist. Now that we’re so close, just inches away, I could almost kiss him. The line he drew has already been crossed.
I reach up to touch his face and he winces. It’s enough to have me jerking it back and balling my hand into a fist.
“How’s Amy?” I ask coolly.
He lets out a sigh. “She’s fine.”
“Back together and happily ever after on the horizon?”
“Hardly.” He chuckles. “She surprised us both, Ry. Cried, yes, but give in? Nope. She says I have some soul searching to do. That maybe I need to get out there and see other people too. Then, once I’ve had my fill, she’ll be waiting. She said she doesn’t want me to always feel like I never had a chance to date and experience other women.”
I lift my brows in surprise. “So you’re…”
“Still seeing each other but also seeing other people.”
“Like the girl from school?”
“Jada? I don’t know. I mean, she’s nice, but…” he drifts off.
But you want me instead?
I glance up to meet his intense stare. “But what?”
“But that won’t make me happy.” He frowns. “I’m struggling here.” His palm cups my cheek and he runs his thumb along my cheek. “I know what I want…”
Me. He wants me.
“I’m tired,” I whisper tearfully.
Tired of this fight. Tired of the sadness. Tired of a life where the design wasn’t clean and neat, but messy and fragmented. I’m just tired.
“I know you are,” he murmurs. He leans forward and kisses my forehead.
I choke back a sob. My fingers tangle in the front of his T-shirt as I clutch him to me, desperate for the connection with my brother. He doesn’t resist and hugs me the rest of the way to him. With his arm holding me close, I relax for the first time in days. Ugly sobs rip from my chest and he rubs my back as though that might soothe the pain away.
In another life…
He rolls onto his back but maneuvers me so I’m half draped over his solid frame. His scent is dizzying me. Masculine and clean. I could inhale him all day long and get high.
“It’ll be hard sorting through this,” he explains as though he has all of life’s answers. “We can do it together. We’re both stronger than the feelings we’re having.”
Bitterness creeps up inside me. He may have this life’s answers, but I have the other life’s answers. In the other life, we’re best friends and lovers. We can kiss and fuck. We can marry and have children. We can love in that life like no siblings can love in this life. That life holds the happily ever after I’ll never get to see.
“I can’t lose you,” I mutter. “I’ll take you however I can get you.”
He runs his fingers through my tangled hair. “Me too, baby, me too.”
I cry, but he remains strong. Unbreakable. Solid. My brother, the hero.
“Let it all out,” he urges. “And then I’m going to fill you back up with popcorn, peanut M&Ms, and whatever action movie that’s playing at the theater.”
“And an Icee. I want a cherry Icee,” I tell him through my tears.
“I’ll give you whatever you want.”
Except us.
He can’t give me us.
Hudson
Three weeks later…
“Coach was pissed,” Nick says when he comes sauntering out of the bathroom of the hotel room we’re sharing, a towel wrapped around his waist.
I groan and scrub my palm over my face. “I fucked up. Whatever. I’ll do better next weekend.”
He drops his towel, showing me his hairy ass as he hunts for something to wear in his suitcase. Once he throws on some jeans, he levels me with a serious stare. Nick is hardly ever serious. “I think he’ll bench you.”