Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 66863 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66863 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
“Yes, Sir. A few times with men I met on Grindr.” I shifted uncomfortably, looked down and noticed the cage on my cock. It was as if I’d somehow forgotten it was there, which was crazy. I shouldn’t be able to forget something like that, or feel like it had always been a part of me.
“You didn’t like it, right? It didn’t feel natural? Be honest, please.”
I thought for a moment even though I didn’t need to. I knew how I felt, but it was muddled with how I thought I should feel. Men, even if they prefer to bottom, should get some satisfaction in topping. It shouldn’t feel so…against my nature. So unfamiliar.
“Tell me exactly what just went through your mind, word for word,” Kieran said before I could speak.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“It’s my job to pay attention to you. To read your cues. I wouldn’t be a very good Dominant if I didn’t. You get a small think line between your eyebrows when you’re contemplating something. When you feel insecure, you scratch behind your left ear.”
I’d scratched behind my left ear? I hadn’t even realized it. I wondered if anyone else had ever noticed those things about me. If I did them all the time, or if it was something that was somehow reserved for Kieran because I let my guard down with him.
I looked up at him then, and repeated what I’d just thought. “No, Sir. I don’t like topping…it feels wrong for me. I get no real satisfaction out of it, but I think I should. I’m a man. It’s sex. Part of me should enjoy doing the fucking, at least, sometimes.”
He sighed but I didn’t think it came from frustration with me, maybe at just the ideas I held. The ideas society held.
“That’s not true. That’s society’s way of thinking. That’s what’s been engrained into us our whole lives. You are not supposed to want or enjoy any one thing. Some people don’t enjoy sex at all. Some submissives enjoy topping at times, some don’t. Some straight men love to have their wives fuck them in the ass with a dildo or strap-on. Sexuality and desire are complicated things. There’s no wrong answer to what you desire as long as it’s safe, sane, consensual, and between adults.”
His words were like a warm blanket, comforting me. It was amazing how much trust I already had in him. How he could put my mind at ease while also making me think and challenge what I’d believed my whole life. “Thank you, Daddy. How do you know so much about this?”
He took a sip of his wine. “I’ve felt the need to be dominant since I first became interested in sex. I guess you can say I’ve always been a thinker…a studier. I would have much rather been with books than people, even when I was a child. When I was eighteen, I moved to the United States from Ireland.”
I hadn’t known he was from Ireland. His accent wasn’t strong, but then, he’d been here a long time.
“I stayed with a man and his wife for a year during college. They were in the lifestyle but they weren’t twenty-four seven. I was supposed to be gone one night but I came home. They were in the basement. I heard noises so I went down. He was whipping her and it was…it was beautiful.” There was such awe in his voice I trembled. “I was riveted. I watched them together for hours. I knew I could get caught at any moment, but I couldn’t look away. Part of me was even more excited by the idea of getting caught.”
I leaned in, incredibly curious about what he had to say. I didn’t know much about Kieran, not that he knew much about me, but I wanted to learn. I wanted to understand him. I think I wanted him to understand me, too.
“When they were finished, I snuck back to my room. I jacked off twice that night. Christ, I don’t think I’d ever come so hard. It was late the next day, when I was alone with him, that he asked me if I’d enjoyed watching them. I was shocked he’d known and hadn’t stopped me. He’d known I was there and still, he fucked and whipped and teased his wife. It had taken him most of the day to talk to me about it. I apologized and asked him how he knew. He’d simply replied that he wouldn’t be a very good Dominant if he wasn’t aware of his surroundings. If he didn’t make sure his sub was safe.”
Kieran’s voice lowered and something changed in his expression. His eyes drifted away from me and the air suddenly felt heavier but just as quickly as it happened, the moment passed.