Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 71832 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71832 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Well, apparently, Iain left out some important bits of information.
“Your grandfather was going to leave the bar to Iain, but I convinced the old man to give it to you instead. I knew it would make you happy. It did make you happy, didn’t it?”
She shakes her head slowly, eyes wide and wild. “This is sick. I don’t believe you.”
“I never planned on doing any of this,” I say, keeping my voice as level as I can, but there is a certain pride deep in my chest. I’ve been helping her for ten years now, and I can finally tell the source of all my hard work and labor how far I’ve gone to make her life better. “I wanted to keep my distance. I swore to myself I’d never cross the line, because I knew that the moment I let myself think I could really have you, I’d go to any lengths to get you.”
“Stop it,” she says as she clutches her glass to her chest. “Just stop it. All this time, you’ve been watching me? You’ve been helping me?”
“It started small. I convinced your grandfather to leave you Smoke. Then I used my family’s connections to get you good deals on liquor and food. I threatened vendors to make sure you were getting rock-bottom pricing. When a competitor was going to open across the street, I made sure that never happened. I threatened city council members into ensuring your block remained as it is today, untouched by development, all so Smoke could remain the best establishment within a ten-minute walk. I sent you customers, funneled money to you through that phony accountant, even paid for repairs without you ever realizing. I never intended for you to find out. I wanted you to be happy.”
She’s trembling. Her face is pale. I don’t go any closer because I’m worried she might be sick. I keep my hands in front of me, in case she’s worried I might hurt her.
But I’d never, ever hurt my angel.
She’s everything to me and has been for a decade now, even if she didn’t know it.
“I had boyfriends,” she says in a small voice. “You know that, right? Were you watching them, too?”
“I didn’t go anywhere near those worthless, spineless losers. Even if those pathetic boys never deserved you, I kept my distance. Those were hard days.” I don’t let myself think about them. Night after night, I dreamed of cutting their throats myself, but I knew that would only hurt her. And I could never do that.
“What’s real?” she asks. “Is any of it real?”
“It’s all real. I’ve helped you, but you’ve done all the hard work yourself. Ash, Smoke is yours, and just because I’ve given you some business—”
“It sounds like Bottle of Smoke only exists because of you.”
“I made your life easier. I couldn’t stand watching you struggle, so every time things got particularly bad, I found a way to step in and ease your burden, all without you ever realizing it happened. I went to great lengths to make your life better.”
“I called you my guardian angel.” Tears roll down her face. I want to grab her chin and lick them away. I want to beg her not to cry. This is like taking a bullet to my heart, over and over again. The anguish is almost unbearable. “All this time, everyone knew, didn’t they? Your mother knew. Your brother.”
“Yes,” I admit.
“Fitz. Your guys.”
“Fitz knew. Most of the others don’t.”
“Oh my god.” She paces back and forth, freaking out. “You manipulated me. You used me. And I don’t even know what you were getting out of it. You made me marry you, and you trapped me, and now I can’t get away, because if I leave then you’ll hurt people I care about.”
“I’m not a monster,” I say emphatically. “I won’t hurt you, Ash.”
“But what about Iain? What about my friends?”
“I swore I’d protect you and I always will. That extends to them.” I don’t add that it’s purely because I know killing Bernie or that mouthy one, Keely, would make her depressed. She doesn’t need to hear that.
“Fuck.” She pulls at her hair. “This is too much. This is way too much.”
“I care about you more than you’ll ever know. For ten years, I sacrificed time and energy, all to make you safer and happier without ever taking a thing for myself. I did it all for you.”
“No,” she says sharply, jabbing a finger at me. “No, don’t you start doing that. You’ve been so fucking selfish, Carson. You’ve been making me look like a helpless idiot for ten fucking years, and everyone in your life knows it. They all must’ve been laughing behind my back. My god, no wonder you say you’re obsessed. You really are.”
“I really am,” I admit, spreading my hands wide. “But that doesn’t make how I feel any less sincere. I’d burn the world down if it meant making you happier, you have to realize that. You’re everything to me.”