Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 144571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 723(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 482(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 144571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 723(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 482(@300wpm)
More like eight, but who was counting. She’d made the arrangements to travel back to Langley with Lena. The big bosses wanted an update on the situation with Zach. Her father had agreed with the way she’d handled things, though he’d wished she’d tried harder to get him to come home.
Her father stared at her like he could see straight through her and knew everything she was thinking and planning on doing for the rest of her life. He didn’t, of course, but this was one of Ian Taggart’s patented dad stares. It worked like a charm on her siblings every single time.
Not on her. She simply stared right back.
“Should we go and make some coffee or something?” Lou asked. “This looks like it’s going to last for a while.”
Her mother’s head shook as she sat back. “They can do this for hours.”
“There’s zero reason for you to go to DC right now,” he said, obviously giving up.
“On this we will have to agree to disagree,” she replied.
“Who convinced you to go to DC because I know it’s not Drake,” her father shot back. “I talked to him this morning, and he’s happy with a conference call.”
“Kala, you can’t leave Cooper hanging like this,” her mother argued.
What had he been saying to her parents? “I didn’t. I said what I needed to say in Colorado. It’s not like I up and refused to talk to him, but at some point the argument is done and things are over. I’m going to DC for work. I need some time to think about my career.”
“He told me what he said to you,” her father explained. “I know it was shitty, but you have to understand that he was in a bad place. He also told me that in the middle of that shitstorm he questioned whether or not I knew and let it happen.”
She should have known that Captain America would own up to his mistakes like the stalwart hero he was. “If it helps, he thought I was in on it, too.”
Her father sighed. “He had a bad reaction to some shocking news and he’s trying to own it. You do neither of you any favors by hiding like a coward when I know damn straight you aren’t one. You chose to let him in.”
“I think what your dad is trying to say…” Lou began because she was always the peacekeeper.
“My father doesn’t need a translator, Lou. He’s trying to tell me I made my bed and I better fucking let Coop lie in it, too.” She knew exactly what her dad was saying.
“He’s trying to say you can’t fold the first time there’s pressure on you,” her mother argued.
“First time?” Kala felt her eyes go wide. “I assure you this is not the first time.”
“Don’t you think I understand that?” Her father stood and started to pace, a sure sign he was getting emotional. “I know how much that one night cost you. I do not intend to allow you to waste another fifteen years of your life because you can’t handle the fact that he said some stupid words. I know they hurt you. I’ve said shit to your mother that hurt her.”
“Same.” Her mother nodded in agreement.
They were always in tune. Always.
And yet she knew they fought.
Her father stopped in front of her, kneeling down. “Kala, I know it’s hard for you to process a fight like this. I know because that’s how it was for me in the beginning. It feels like there’s no way out, but there is.”
“I’ve made my decision, and though I know you all think I’m some kind of selfish shit, I’m actually doing this for him.”
Lou sent her mom a look. An I told you look.
“I know that, too. I know what’s going through your head,” her father insisted. “You think you’re too dark for him. You think you’re sparing him because one day he’s going to wake up and realize he needs some sweet princess who won’t ever give him a moment’s trouble. You think he can’t possibly know what he truly wants because he keeps saying he wants you. That can’t be right because you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve it because you’re not good enough.”
“Ian,” her mom began.
“I can say it because I felt it, too. I’ve had all those dark voices in my head. I am so sorry you inherited them. I wouldn’t wish that part of me on anyone, much less my daughter. You have to be stronger than the voices,” he urged.
But her voices were so silky and smooth. Her voices didn’t feel all that dark. Her voices sometimes told her how nice it would be without that light in her eyes all the time. She was born in shadows, and it was only her connections to these people that forced her into a mold she didn’t fit. How much easier would it be if she could simply be herself?