Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 144571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 723(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 482(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 144571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 723(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 482(@300wpm)
“I want to know what Lena’s been saying to you in therapy,” her father announced.
Oh, they were not going there. “Therapy is private. I believe at one point in time you told me therapy is sacred, and I never had to talk about what was said there.”
“Yeah, when you were a kid and I was worried about you never talking about what happened in Virginia. Now you’re an adult and I feel like I’m in some kind of battle where I don’t even know the rules of war,” her father said, running a hand over his head. He stood and started pacing again. “I don’t like that woman, and I’m working to get her off this case. Drake is going to find someone else.”
“I can’t put my finger on it, but she gives me bad vibes. There’s a smugness about the woman,” her mother added, “like she knows something and she’s going to use it against us.”
Well, it was obvious Lena wasn’t all Team Taggart. “She’s been helping me see some things more clearly.”
Now her mother leaned forward, a tense expression on her face. “What things, exactly?”
“Kala, when I had my sessions with her, she spent most of the time focusing on my friendship with you,” Lou said. “It was weird. Everything was focused on you. She was supposed to be learning about Zach and how he functioned in the team, but it was you she wanted to talk about.”
“Lena thinks I’m being wasted on this team.” She winced when she realized how that sounded. She hadn’t meant to be arrogant. She was simply stating the facts, but she’d learned that people often associated facts with internal feelings. Damn. She couldn’t seem to stop screwing up.
Her father put his palms flat on the table, staring down at her. “If you think for one second you’ll be allowed to go solo, you do not know me at all. I’m going to ask you what you would do if Lou up and told you she was leaving the team and going into the field on her own?”
Kala snorted. “She would never do that.”
“But if she did?” The question came out between her father’s clenched jaw.
“I would stop it, but it’s not the same. Lou isn’t a field operative. It would be too risky.”
Lou held up a hand. “For the record, not something I would do.”
Dad ignored her. “So if Lou decided to do something you felt was dangerous, you would stop her.”
“Of course.” It wouldn’t matter that it should be Lou’s decision. She wouldn’t be able to watch it happen. Any more than she would be able to watch Coop do it since he wasn’t a field operative. He was too emotional, too tied into his own morality to make the hard calls.
Not that she would be able to help them if she walked away. They wouldn’t be in her life all the time. They would be reports, whispers, stories she heard when—if—she called home.
The thought made her ache. Would that ache go away if she was far from them? Or would it become a part of her, some pain inside that never went away?
“She’s your best friend,” her father said with a grave tone. “You love her, but no one put her in your arms when she was born. You didn’t watch her grow up. She’s not a piece of your soul, walking this earth. What do you think I’ll do to stop you from hurting yourself?”
“I’m not hurting myself. I’m doing my job, and I think in order to do it to the best of my ability, I might need to work alone. Hell, I get benched half the time as it is.” Did he think she wasn’t an adult? Hadn’t thought this through?
Lou had gone pale. “You can’t leave the team. I’m here because of you. I’m here to work with you. I’m here because I don’t want to lose you, and that’s what will happen if you go off on your own.”
The words hit her squarely in the chest. Wasn’t that exactly what she’d been thinking? Now that TJ had Lou, she didn’t need her anymore and it was okay to let go.
But what about Kenz? Kenz had Tash. What about Devi? She was reckless, and Bri and Daisy wouldn’t be able to hold her damn feet over the fire to get her to see reason. What about her brothers?
What about her tiny nephew?
Don’t you think they’re all better off without your darkness? Without you in their lives, maybe there won’t be danger since you’re the most dangerous thing of all.
God, that voice still sounded like Julia Ennis.
“You will hurt yourself if you walk away from this team.” Her father straightened up and had his “decision made” face on. “If you isolate yourself, it’ll be easier to give in to all of your dark impulses. I should fucking know because that’s what I did. Only nearly losing Liam O’Donnell to that fucker Eli Nelson brought me to my senses.”