Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 80555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“Yep. Marissa keeps reminding us that due dates are simply a guesstimate.”
“Moon cycles.” Wren wandered through the kitchen, undoubtedly lured by the intoxicating aroma of toasty corn and butter. “Also, cervical ripeness is a good indicator, not that Maren wishes to discuss that.”
“Understandable.” I gulped, not really wanting to think about cervixes right then.
“I’m worried,” Diesel said as Wren continued on to the bathroom in the hallway.
“I’d be concerned if you weren’t.” I pitched my voice as reassuringly as possible. “There’s a lot going on. Maren. The baby. The snow.”
Diesel made a pained noise like I’d missed the point. “What if I suck as a dad?”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know?” He stirred too hard, cocoa splashing. “See? I can’t even do hot chocolate.”
“Because I know you.” I wiped up the spill before he could heap more blame on himself. “I’ve watched you do more research the last few months than you did in four years of high school. You’ve got this.”
“Even after everything I’ve read and all the podcasts I’ve listened to at work, I still feel like I’ve got no clue what I’m doing.”
“We all feel like that.” I chuckled because here I was, about to be a grandparent, still as clueless as the day Flo had set him in my arms. “And I’m sad to tell you, it doesn’t go away. I worry about doing the right thing by you every day.”
“You?” Diesel made a startled noise. “You’re a great dad. Couldn’t ask for better.”
“Thank you. But we all start out clueless and stay that way. Nothing’s more humbling than parenthood.”
And hell. Talk about humble pie. Unlike my twenty years of figuring out parenthood on the fly, I had zero clue how to handle a relationship. Maybe I truly was being cocky, making demands. Eric at least had a history of relationship success. What if I convinced him to give us a shot, and then I screwed it up? And then all his fears about awkwardness came true?
“Amen. I learn something every day as a parent.” The man in question came strolling in right as a fresh wave of doubts washed over me. My dismay must have shown because Eric added, “Sorry. Not trying to interrupt. Just came to see if you needed help?”
“Almost done.” My voice was as tight as my throat. “You want to grab the marshmallows?”
“Absolutely.”
“You think if we practice, Maren and I can be as good a team as you two?” Diesel gestured between us.
“We’re just friends who work well together,” Eric answered quickly as if afraid I might say otherwise.
“I know you’re friends.” Diesel rolled his eyes. “Thank God. How awkward would it be if you weren’t?”
How awkward indeed.
Chapter Thirty-One
Eric
My house always had a certain energy in the predawn hours. Due to my work schedule, I’d seen more of those hours than most, and I found something deeply calming about being awake while knowing the rest of the house was tucked away, safely sleeping. However, after the excitement of Maren maybe being in labor, along with my earlier talk with Magnus, I was anything but calm.
Also anything but sleepy. The small room on the third floor, where I’d slept for over a year, suddenly seemed tiny and cramped. The bed was lumpy, the covers itchy, the wallpaper faded. Stifling, walls closing in along with my thoughts about how to right things with Magnus. He and the dogs were back at the carriage house for the night, yet they might as well be on the moon for how disconnected I felt.
How awkward would it be if you weren’t friends? Diesel’s comment kept churning in my brain. How terrible would it be to lose Magnus’s friendship? That wasn’t what Diesel had meant, but all I could picture was years of stilted interactions. No more movie nights. No more couch cuddles. No more dancing in the carriage house. No more us.
Unable to stomach that thought, I ended up where I so often did when sleep eluded me. After quietly trekking downstairs to the living room, I made myself comfortable with a blanket and a familiar movie. The trio of bridesmaids in the movie were confronting yet another comedic disaster when footsteps sounded behind the couch.
“Yes?” I swiveled, expecting to find Wren up much too early or much too late.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone else was up.” Marissa came around the couch to stand in front of me. She wore yoga pants and a T-shirt with a tarot card on the font. “Are you on duty today?”
“Luckily, no. I asked off for the shower, and I don’t go back until Tuesday.” I was less concerned with the interruption and more with why she was up at this hour. “Everything okay?”
“Very. You might be a grandpa by Tuesday.” Marissa smiled warmly. “Maren’s contractions started back up. I’m letting her and Diesel have some alone time, but my intuition says we might need the birthing tub soon after all. Figured I’d work on setting that up.”