Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
I have way too much going on to get involved with someone.
And from what she said, she may want to be fucked, but she also wants to be worshipped, and to worship her would mean to open myself up to emotions I’ve done a damn good job of holding back. It wouldn’t be hard to worship her. I’d fall to my knees so fucking quickly for her, and I’d enjoy doing so, but at what cost? My heart isn’t available for anything but hockey. I learned the hard way what it means to love a person, and I won’t do it again. Been there, done that, and I have no desire to do it again.
In all honesty, I should stay clear of the bookshop, just take Cruz’s taunting, yet I enjoy my time in the shop. I get a coffee down the road, and I just relax. I can resist the desire to give Lou what she wants; I know I can. I’m there for the books. That’s it.
Maybe if I say that a few more times, I’ll start believing my own thoughts.
When Cruz is ready, I line up and shoot, getting the puck past him with ease. As he cusses, I grab another puck, but before I can send it to the back of the net, I can’t help but think of Lou.
And how, while I know I can resist her, I don’t know if I want to.
CHAPTER 5
Louisa
“Who wants to go see Austen this weekend!”
At my sister’s words, I glance up from where I’m tearing apart my pomegranate-orange muffin before stuffing a piece into my mouth. I am ignoring the fact that this coffee shop has these as a special, and I’m also ignoring the fact that I wanted to get one for hot reader guy. I feel that would have been a little over the top and stalkerish. Instead, I focus on my sister Elliot, who is the one suggesting going to Nashville to see Austen. It’s been a month since we last saw her, and we make it a point never to go longer than that without seeing one another.
Elliot sits with her legs crossed up underneath her, but she leans back in her chair with her mug up by her lips. She is stunning with her long chestnut-brown locks and bright, hazel-blue eyes. She’s wearing a pair of biker shorts and an oversized bright-orange Knoxville Bears shirt. She was hired by our peepaw to work for the Bears as their social media adviser, and because of that, my sister is always wearing her Bears gear. I haven’t even tried on any of mine. I’m only wearing orange if I go to jail.
Not that I plan on going…unless it’s because I’ve gotten railed in public.
By hot reader guy.
God…I am crazy.
Or horny.
Both?
I shake my head free of all those insanely crazy thoughts and glance to Clara, my baby sister, and an overwhelming feeling of love flows through me. I stayed in the cult, married to that awful man, so I could keep her safe. That was, until she found me bloodied, and then she begged me to leave since she would be following in no time. I still have such guilt about leaving her, but my love for her overtakes that.
Clara sits beside Elliot in jogging pants and an athletic top that shows off all her gorgeous skin and tight muscles. She has gotten into fitness since moving to Knoxville and has been working out like a fiend. Her thick, dark hair is up in a high ponytail, while her blunt bangs hang over her dark-blue eyes that shine behind full lashes. Like Elliot’s, Clara’s lips are thin and her jaw sharp. Both are gorgeous, and I’m so thankful we are all free of those demons.
Eliza, Austen, and I dealt with the worst the cult brought down on us, but Clara and Elliot didn’t experience as much and weren’t subjected to the abuse we older girls experienced. We took their places a lot, trying to distract everyone from them, because we had no other choice. We didn’t want them to feel what we did, and I don’t regret that. I hate that they still need to go to therapy and that they still fear that the Grandmaster or our mother might try to come find us again.
But I know we’re safe. I made sure of it; Peepaw made sure of it. No one knows where we are, and if they do find us, then we’ll deal with it. As a family. This is our chance to have the life we deserve, and I won’t allow anyone to touch my sisters.
“Austen said we can stay with her this weekend while Dimitri is on his road trip,” Clara says after taking a sip of her smoothie. “We could go do a huge sleepover with raunchy TV and snacks.”