Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Maybe set her up with a hot pool boy. She’ll love that, but do yourself a favor and avoid my place on Friday night wine night. If our moms are going to be drinking and talking about hot pool boys, trust me when I say that’s a conversation you’re going to want to avoid!
I’m not really sure what else I should say.
I knew writing this letter was going to be hard, but I wasn’t prepared for just how excruciating it would be. It’s okay, though, because I know you’ll be walking back through my door any minute now, and when you do, you’re going to hold me so tight. You’ll press a soft kiss to my lips and then you’ll brush your fingers up and down my arm until I fall asleep.
You’ve always known exactly what to do. Which is how I know you’ll be okay now. You need to trust yourself, trust that you’re making the right decisions, trust your gut, and when in doubt, just take a moment to breathe.
I’m not ready to say goodbye to you, so I won’t. Instead, all I’m going to say is the one thing that matters. I love you. I’ve loved you today, yesterday, and will continue to love you every moment until the end of time.
I will always be waiting for you, Noah.
Your Zoey
xxx
Now . . . down to the nitty-gritty. I’ve left you some things.
Under my desk, you should find a box (assuming Mom remembered to put it there. Otherwise, you’re going to have to go on a scavenger hunt through my house. But for the love of all that’s holy, don’t look under my parents’ bed. I made that mistake once, and I’ve never been the same.)
In the box, you’ll find a whole bunch of things, some of them self-explanatory, others I might need to talk you through.
On top, you’ll find your old phone. You lent it to me when I first started chemotherapy, and it was filled with all the pictures of our life together. Only now, I’ve added a few things. Apart from every single photo we’ve taken over the past six months, from selfies of me and Allie to you kissing me on our park prom night, and of course, our engagement and wedding photos, I’ve loaded every single email we’ve ever sent each other, right down to the ones we sent when we were only kids. I’ve gone through it all, by the way, and trust me, we really were partners in crime!!!!
Now, here’s the important part about your old phone, and it’s going to take a little self-control on your part, actually . . . a LOT of self-control. I’ve added a voice note message for every birthday between now and your fiftieth birthday. Now, no judgment. The first ten were creative, but after that, I’m pretty sure they all started to sound the same, just rinsed and recycled. Among those voice notes, there are also a few messages, just random thoughts that have popped into my mind over the past little while, little nothings that somehow meant enough to me to put into words for you.
Next up, are two pressed tulips. The orange one is the very first one you gave me when I started my second round of treatment, and the second—the pink one—is from our wedding day. I’ll never be able to express just how much these tulips meant to me. Seeing your insane ways of having these tulips delivered to me every single day meant the world to me. You put a smile on my face every single time, and because they meant so much to me, I wanted to gift you these two, the most important ones. They were so special to me, and now they get to be special to you.
There’s a whole bunch of other things in there like the little velvet box my engagement ring came in and the infinity charm you gave me for my eighteenth birthday—the very charm that’s identical to our tattoos. God, I loved the way you spoiled me. And don’t even think about giving me the whole “Oh, I can’t take this stuff, it belonged to you” bullshit because I don’t want it left here in this box getting dusty. I want you to have them because apart from me, you’re the only one who’s going to cherish them the way they deserve to be cherished.
Now, here’s the kicker.
My laptop.
I know you’ve been curious about this, and I’ve been keeping it close to my chest because I couldn’t bring myself to show you or explain what I’ve been writing all this time, though deep down, I think you might know. You always know when it comes to me and you.
When you open the laptop, you’ll find a document called Remember Us This Way, and this is our story, from the beginning right up until now. But the problem is, it’s not complete. These past few days, I haven’t been able to type. I haven’t had the strength to finish it, and while I know writing isn’t really your thing, it would mean the world to me if you could finish our story for me.