Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
He builds me higher and higher, repeating beautiful things in my ear. His words melt over me and I try to concentrate, words like “beautiful,” “love,” and “mine” are mixing together, swirling in the back of my brain. I feel so loved, so treasured, that I never want it to end.
I know it won’t. Not with Crew. Not this time.
My legs begin to shake as my orgasm hits. They drop to the side and he increases his pace. The thrusts become deeper, quicker, and I tilt my hips and meet him movement for movement.
“Crew . . .” I try to warn, but he stops me with kisses. I grit my teeth and feel a smile against my mouth as I fall apart under him.
He pumps into me a few more times before pressing himself all the way inside and empties himself into me.
He rolls off to the side and pulls me into his chest. I try to stay awake, try to think about telling him we’re having a baby, but the sweet words he’s whispering in my ear, the warmth of his body, the cocooning effect of his arms is too much.
I drift into a peaceful slumber for the first time in forever.
FIFTY-TWO
CREW
I haven’t been here in years.
The water rolls in lazily. Seagulls squawk overhead. The sun is going down in the west.
I feel her here.
I sit on the grass at the edge of the sand, letting the final few rays of sun hit my face. It’s been a peaceful day, starting with pancakes for breakfast and a run-through with Sal. Will met me for lunch and then it was cartoons all afternoon.
Crazy that Nick Jr. is my idea of a perfect day.
I watch the birds circle over the water, flying around gracefully. Ma would’ve loved it. She loved simple things: a sunset, a good Red Sox game, a good pancake.
I smile. The beach is empty. It’s just us.
“Hey, Ma,” I say softly. “Long time no see, right?”
I scoop up a handful of sand from the beach at my feet and let it run through my fingers. “Well, I don’t know if I’m fucking up again or if I’m finally doing the right thing.”
The birds squawk and I laugh.
“I feel like an idiot talking out loud right now. You better be listening because I can’t promise it’ll happen again.” Another handful of sand flows through my fingers. “It took me a while to get what you meant when we talked last. I don’t know if I just didn’t get it or if I didn’t want to get it. But now, I think I do.”
I brush my hands off and lean back on my elbows.
“I’m sorry I caused you so much grief. Fuck, looking back, I don’t know why you didn’t just write me off. But you didn’t.” I think for a second. “No, that’s not true. I know why you didn’t because I wouldn’t do that to Everleigh, either.”
I smile. “You’d love her. She’s so pretty and so smart. She’s a lot like Gage and Jules, but I’d like to think some of me has rubbed off on her, too.
“I’m doing the best I can down here since you and my fucking brother decided to leave me alone. Funny that you two turned everything over to me . . . the one with no idea how to take care of myself, let alone other people. But I’m trying.”
I blow out a breath, my chest feeling lighter. “You know, though, I get it now. I get what you were saying. I was pushing and sacrificing everything then for all the wrong reasons. I lost track of everything that mattered.
“What you said was right. Life is about the simple things. Fuck if I don’t know that now more than anyone. It’s about a good woman, that feeling you get when you walk in the door and you feel that happiness you can’t explain. It’s about health and pancakes and doing what you have to do to take care of those you love.
“I fight tomorrow. I act like I got this shit in the bag, but between you and me and the beach here, I don’t know. My neck and back are hurting every day. Davidson has a vendetta against me that’s fueling him. I have a huge mountain to climb and one leg to stand on. I hope to God this was the right answer, but I don’t know that there was another one.
“When the opportunity came to do this, I didn’t think twice. I’ve put some stuff together that I hope works out. Even if I don’t come off that mat in one piece, it’s worth it all as long as Ever has the chance at getting well. Because that’s the real kicker . . . she doesn’t even have a fucking chance without this therapy. I called the doctors without Jules knowing and we had a frank conversation. She has to have this to even have a shot. I won’t go through my life knowing there was something I could’ve done to give her that chance. She deserves a chance and I’m the only one that can give her that. If something bad is gonna come to one of us, it’ll be me. I’ve fucked up so many times in my life that if anything should come of this fight, I probably deserve it. But Ever, she’s innocent. She’s perfect. And I’ll be damned if I don’t give her a fighting chance.”