Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
I dust off the back of my pants. “Thank you for sacrificing your life for Gage and me. You killed yourself every day to make sure we had food. I may not have realized it then, but I get it now.
“Tell that brother of mine that I have his back. And as much as I love him, I hope to see him later than sooner.”
With a final glance at the sun dipping behind the horizon, I turn and head to my truck.
FIFTY-THREE
JULIA
I’ve been lying in his bed for an hour. Ever is resting. The new meds they sent us home with make her sleep a lot. I need sleeping meds of my own, but then who will take care of everything?
I’m lying on his side, his scent surrounding me. I breathe it in and hold it in my lungs, letting it comfort me. My nerves are shot. Gone.
Tomorrow is the day of reckoning, the day the rest of my life either goes or stops. I feel so much apprehension, so much fear, that I haven’t eaten in three days. If I let myself think about it too much, I dry heave. I also haven’t decided whether to tell him about the baby before the fight. I’m so torn about it.
My body begins to relax and I nuzzle into his pillow, letting my mind go black.
I must’ve fallen asleep because when I open my eyes, Crew is sitting beside me. He’s watching me sleep. The light from the street is coming through the open blinds, casting a glow over his handsome features.
“Hey,” he whispers.
“Hi.” I smile and he returns it. “How long have you been here?”
“Long enough.”
“Where did you go?”
“I just had a few things to wrap up.” He climbs over me and lies beside me. He pulls my back into his front.
His skin is still damp and he smells musky like his body wash. I rest my head on his bicep.
“Tomorrow’s the day,” he says quietly like I don’t know, like it hasn’t been consuming me. “I’ll be gone when you get up.”
“I won’t see you before you leave?”
He shakes his head. “I gotta be out of here early. I need to have my head straight. And I know it sucks, but please don’t call me tomorrow, okay? It’ll make me lose focus because I’ll be wondering what you and Everleigh are doing.”
I still, knowing now that I can’t tell him about the baby. I know he’ll be happy, ecstatic even, but I also know it won’t change his decision to fight. It’ll only add to his worries . . . and distract him.
Can I let him go without knowing? What if . . .
I can’t think that way. I have to be strong for him.
“I understand. I don’t like the idea of not seeing or talking to you, but I get it.”
“Good girl.”
We lie quietly. I get the feeling he’s got something on his mind and I give him space to work it out. He’s told me before I’m his safe place and I want him to feel safe here, just like he makes Ever and me feel.
“Whatever happens tomorrow, I want you to know a few things.”
I turn in his arms and face him. His features are creased, his eyes full of sincerity. It takes my breath away.
“There’s never been a time in my life that I didn’t love you. From the first time I saw you, you were the only girl for me.”
“Crew . . .”
“No, let me finish. I need to say this.” He brushes his thumb against my cheek thoughtfully. “I found the letter Gage wrote you the other day. I was looking for some papers and I ran across it. I probably shouldn’t have read it but I did. And Gage was right, you know. On so many things.”
I smile. “Gage was right all of the time.”
“True. But he was right in what he said to you. First, about me never turning my back on you. Until I take my last breath on this earth, I will fight for you and Everleigh. Not just because of Gage, but because of you. You know that, right?”
I do. Tears prick my eyes.
“I’d give anything to make you two okay. And whatever happens tomorrow, I want you to know I went into it knowing the possible outcomes.”
“Don’t talk like this,” A sob works its way up my throat.
“Shh,” he whispers, his eyes shining with tears, too. “Also, if something does happen in that cage—”
“Don’t,” I cry, burying my head in his chest. I can’t listen to this.
“Jules, please,” he pleads, tilting my chin so I’m facing him. Tears are rolling down my cheeks, soaking my shirt. “I need you to listen to me. I need to leave here tomorrow knowing you heard me.”
I nod. As much as I don’t want to listen, I will if it will help him in some way.