Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 67465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 337(@200wpm)___ 270(@250wpm)___ 225(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 337(@200wpm)___ 270(@250wpm)___ 225(@300wpm)
All he would have had to do was flick through it to spot his name dozens of times, littering the pages. From my foolish teenage heart to paper. There are probably quite a few hearts, too, with his name doodled in different lettering.
“I’m so freaking sorry, Remi,” he says again. He looks at the floor. He can’t look at me.
I don’t know how to have this out. I don’t know what to say. He spilled his heart to me last night, and now he knows all about mine, but I didn’t confess it. I didn’t give it to him. Instead, he stole it. How can we have coffee now? Now that he knows. All those entries were dated, so it’s clear they’re from high school, but he still knows, and now I’m humiliated. What must he assume about me? What does he think about me now? Last night, I was a friend, an equal. I was someone he trusted. I was someone he wanted to open his heart to. I was there for him, and he had my heart, but he didn’t know it. He’s never known it. Now he does, and I’m probably just some silly girl to him again. Not a woman. Not a freaking grown woman at all.
I’m so humiliated. I’m wrecked by this. My heart is a mess because I’m furious, and I want to fall down on my knees and weep. I want to accuse him of stealing my secrets, things that were never meant for him, and I want to howl. But part of me, the rational and sane part, wants to go and get that cup of coffee and laugh it off as a silly crush.
That’s the option I’m going with since it’s dumb to be mortified over this. I’m not going to let this wreck my life and dictate what happens from here. So he saw what I wrote when I was fifteen and sixteen years old. Big deal. Maybe it is a big deal, but so what? So I had a crush on Van, but now we’re here, and it’s now that matters.
I open my mouth to tell Van that there’s a toothbrush with his name on it, and in ten minutes, there’ll be a cup of coffee with his name too, along with my heart, waiting, always my freaking heart—okay, so I won’t tell him that bit—but he doesn’t give me a chance.
He whirls and dashes to the window. He pulls up the glass—there’s no screen because it busted out a long time ago. I’m not even sure if this room ever had a screen on the window. It’s a big window, just the right size for someone to climb out. If you’re me and not a full-grown man, that is.
Also, if there weren’t blinds in the way.
Van thrust the blinds aside, but they come back at him, tangling around him. He tries to leap out, and it’s a tall window, so that’s not a very smart thing to do. He ends up half out but mostly in, his feet arched up and kicking, trying to shove himself the rest of the way. It’s a six-foot fall down to the ground at least, and there’s no way I’m letting him face that head first. My blinds are destroyed like a cat the size of a T-Rex just went through them.
I do the most logical thing by racing forward and grabbing his feet with both arms, locking them around his legs. I pull back, and he might have gravity, but I’m damn well determined not to let him eat dirt. In my mind, I keep seeing his head getting squashed like a melon as he hits the ground. It might be grass below, but I’m not going to let that happen.
“Van!” I yell, pounding on his legs. “Van! Stop! Stop kicking me!”
He freezes, and that split second is enough for me to drag him back through the window. He hits the floor of my room, breathing hard, and I slam the glass shut. My blinds are gaping in several spots, destroyed beyond redemption. I throw my hands on my hips and stare down at him. “Are you insane?”
He nods, throat bobbing as he swallows quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m starting to think the odds of it are pretty fucking good.”
“What the ever unholy fuck did you think you were going to do?” I whirl around, pointing to the door. “If you’re going to bail on me again, use the freaking door. It’s that way.”
He’s still sitting on the floor, but he looks like he wants to leap up and take me up on my offer. I slump down beside him, falling to my knees so I can look him in the eye. “Yeah, so I had a crush on you. So what? You don’t have to spaz and leap out my window and fall to your death. Good lord.”