Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 66074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
“First of all, Seth is obsessed with you. You see that, don’t you?”
I smile. “He does act quite enamored. Which I don’t understand—”
He interrupts, “It’s not an act, Twy. And you don’t have to necessarily understand why. You just need to believe it. He’s not only in love with his wife. He is infatuated by you, everything that makes you Twyla. You said it yourself—you’ve seen the types of women at Club Alias. You’ve met some of his former students. And he was once a highly sought-after Dominant. I’m sorry to cause you any type of discomfort, but to put it bluntly, yes, he could’ve chosen any one of those women to not only be his sub, but to be in any kind of long-term relationship with.”
I swallow thickly and sink back in the chair, trying in earnest to keep my tummy from bubbling with the acid I feel starting to churn.
“But he never did. Not even once,” Doc continues. “Not a single time did Seth mention a woman by name in all the years I’ve known him. Not one time did he say anything about a sub causing him to feel any sort of emotion. But the very day he met you, he told all of us—Corbin, Brian, and me—that he met a girl named Twyla, and she made him feel ‘weird.’”
I can’t help it. I let out a laugh as my heart expands even more for the man I married. Knowing him the way I do, “weird” would’ve been a big deal for him to feel, and for him to confess to his closest friends. It would’ve been startling for those guys to hear it coming from him as well. As goofy as the man is, and as much as he loves to quote movies and such, Seth is off-the-charts intelligent, with a vocabulary that is astounding. For him to be unable to describe what he was feeling as anything but “weird,” meant it was an emotion he’d truly never experienced before.
And he felt it for me.
“I can see you get what a big deal that was for everyone there that day, so I’m going to take it one step further. I talked to him throughout the entire beginning of your relationship. Each step of the way, he came to me to help him decipher what he was thinking, wanting. Courting a woman was something he’d never done before. Every single action and feeling he was experiencing was brand-new territory. And he was determined to get it right. He knew from the start that you were special, and he wanted to make damn sure he didn’t do anything that would fuck up his chance to be with you. Once Seth decided you were meant to be his, that’s it. You were all that mattered. Anyone and anything else that could possibly keep that from becoming his reality, he shoved it all away. And it was for good, Twyla.” He looks at me seriously. “You have to know that about your husband. Once he makes a decision, it’s final. There are no takebacks.”
I nod. “Oh, I know that for sure. But there’s nothing to say that he can’t regret a decision he’s made. There’s no rule that states he can’t get bored with me, just because he may stick to his guns and not seek anyone else. I know for a fact Seth—and Seven for that matter—would never cheat on me. It’s against his moral code. No matter what, he wouldn’t allow himself to break that vow. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be unhappy with me. It doesn’t mean he can’t be disappointed that this woman he’ll be faithful to for the rest of his life isn’t good enough for him in bed. That I’m not learning to be a better submissive. That I’m not catching on to the things he’s tried to teach me. That I freeze when he gives me an order and am physically unable to carry out what he’s asked of me.”
As my bottom lids lose their battle against my tears once more, I see my brother-in-law sink a little to the side so he can prop his elbow on the arm of the couch and rub his beard-covered chin between his thumb and pointer finger. His eyes are narrowed, and I can tell he’s not really looking at me but internally. Trying to solve the puzzle I’ve laid out in front of him.
He murmurs to himself, “Secure in relationship, but not….”
After a moment, he nods and sits up, his bright blue eyes clear as he speaks to me this time. “This is purely a matter of self-doubt, insecurity in yourself and your abilities, and also… this stress reaction of freezing.” Those eyes of his gleam with… excitement? “I can help you, Twy. If you can agree to face it head-on and just trust me—even if what I tell you to do sounds silly, or embarrassing, or completely pointless—then I promise we can fix these negative feelings and responses of yours.”