Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Shadowing Alex as he led me into the hotel, I briefly noted that it wasn’t up to the standard I was used to. I could almost hear my mom chastising me for my snobbery and it made me smile. I felt her with me every single day in some way or another. It was a bittersweet sensation, knowing she was still looking out for me but not being able to thank her with a hug.
“Matt…” The sound of my name snapped me out of my untimely grieving. Following Alex in a daze, I hadn’t even noticed we’d reached his room and that he’d unlocked the door and stepped inside.
Entering the room, I wished I’d worn a shirt with buttons so I could un-pop a couple. I felt strangled by the neck of my t-shirt as I made my way over to the double bed. It was the only place to sit in the basic room which was fitted out with only a bed, closet and small nightstand.
“So…” I began as I settled my butt onto the firm mattress, trailing off when I realized I didn’t know where the hell to start.
“So…”
As he stood in front of me, hands tucked into his pockets, I noticed his hair had grown. His cropped style was completely gone, his curls even longer now, covering the tips of his ears. It surprised me how much I wanted to feel it beneath my fingers.
“I’ve missed you.” The words tumbled spontaneously out of my mouth without permission.
“Yeah. I’ve missed you too.” He exhaled a short laugh, like it surprised him. If he genuinely missed me, missed our friendship, that was all on him. I’d tried.
“Then why didn’t you answer my calls?”
“I was confused. When you kiss-”
“You were confused? Oh I’m sorry, I thought you already knew you were gay.”
“Are you planning on being an ass all night?”
Sighing, I pushed the hair off of my face, running my fingers over my head until they reached my neck. “I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I said quietly, looking to the faded brown carpet. “It makes no sense. I’ve never been attracted to a guy before. Not ever.”
“Are you telling me you meant to kiss me?”
“What the fuck kinda question is that? You think I just tripped and fell on your face?” You’re being an ass again. “Sorry. Yes, I meant it, and now it’s all I can think about. You’re all I can think about.”
There. I’d said it. And I felt one hundred pounds lighter.
“I had no idea,” Alex said, so quietly I barely heard him. “I thought you were, I don’t know, experimenting. Joking. Drunk.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me that?”
“I was scared.”
I stood up so my eyes were level with his. “Of what?”
“That I’d be right.”
I’d spent almost three weeks trying to prove my heterosexuality to myself, trying to unscramble the mass of conflicting emotions wreaking havoc with my mind and body, trying to convince myself that what happened in the utility room was a result of grief and alcohol… But yet again as I stood this close to him, feeling his breath on my face, admiring those damn blue eyes that sparkled with unshed tears, my every thought was clouded by my need to touch him. To taste him. To hold him so close to my fucking body and never let him go.
So I did.
Gingerly, I ran my fingers along the smooth ridges of his exposed arms, settling on the back of his neck. My face paused just inches away from him, my breath mingling with his. His gaze swept to the side, refusing to make eye contact with me.
“Alex look at me,” I whispered. Slowly, reluctantly, he did. “I mean this.”
Surprising me, Alex moved in first, his lips brushing mine so softly I couldn’t be sure I hadn’t imagined it. I gasped as he moaned into my mouth, his kiss growing firmer as he grazed my teeth with his tongue. His day-old stubble, coarse against my skin, was such a foreign sensation that in all honesty weirded me out for a few seconds, until he wound his fingers into my hair, making me forget not just his stubble, but everything.
My body didn’t seem to care that it was a man pushing me backwards onto the bed. The throbbing ache in my rock-hard dick told me I’d never been so turned on in my life. His kiss was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. His lips were harsh in their assault as his hard and heavy body pinned mine to the mattress. It was rough and fast with no time to take a breath, fueled by passion, need and fear.
It was the best fucking kiss of my life.
A sudden calm washed over Alex. His wet tongue slipped out of my parted lips, teasing them as he broke our kiss. I took the opportunity to draw a few, flustered breaths as he rested his face in the crook of my neck. Mentally, I gave myself a brief pep talk, thinking back to what happened last time we kissed. I can do this, I told myself, before the mere thought of him touching my dick made me break the silence with a throaty moan. Oh hell yeah, I can definitely do this.