Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“Are you laughing at me?” Matt asked, swatting my shoulder.
“No!” I denied, my smile so wide it made my jaw ache.
“You are! You so fucking are!” He continued to slap me as he began to laugh himself. “It’s not funny! I don’t get boners over guys. You’ve fucking broken me!”
I’d been moving backwards in an effort to dodge Matt’s playful blows and I didn’t notice how close to the furniture I’d gotten until I tripped over the coffee table and went crashing down onto the couch. I saw him reaching for his weapon of choice – a gray satin cushion that I’d knocked to the floor during my fall – but I was too late to stop him. I shielded my face with my forearm as the cushion rained down on me over and over again. I could barely breathe through the laughter as I tried tirelessly to kick him away, all the while screaming like a little girl.
“Say! You’re! Sorry!” Matt demanded in between strikes, his tone light and mischievous. “Apologize for making my dick confused!”
“Alright! Alright! I’m sorry!” I squealed, my heart pounding as if I’d ran a marathon. “Matt’s penis, please forgive me!”
“Hmm,” Matt pondered, holding the cushion threateningly in the air before dropping it on the floor. “That’ll do.”
I swung my legs off the couch, hoisting myself upright so he could sit beside me. “I’ve missed you,” I blurted. His eyes darted to mine and I couldn’t focus on anything else. “I’m so sorry, Matt. I abandoned you when you were going through the worst period of your life. I’m a lousy friend.” I wasn’t seeking sympathy, simply speaking the truth. Running away and hiding was a stupid thing to do at any time, but so close after losing his mother… “I’ve been a selfish dick, and I’m sorry.”
“Yesterday I’d have agreed with you, but after tonight…I get it now. I just wish you’d told me sooner.”
I followed Matt’s shifting gaze and found him staring at my hand. Tilting his head to one side, he just looked at it, curiosity furrowing his brow. Slowly, his fingers inched toward it, stuttering over my palm for a few seconds before closing around my hand. He circled the top of my wrist with his thumb, rough from years spent playing the drums, causing my breath to catch in my throat.
“What are you thinking?” I asked, unable to decipher his expression as he continued to glare at our interlocked hands.
“That this should feel weird. Holding your hand like this.”
“And how does it feel?” I asked, curling my thumb around his.
“Perfect,” he whispered, his voice so low it was barely there. The word danced into my ears, warming my veins. His thoughts mirrored mine and if I allowed myself to push past the fear, I saw that this was the beginning of something magical. “Like my hand was created to fit in yours.”
I placed my other hand on top of Matt’s, bringing it to my chest and pressing his palm over my heart. “This isn’t going to be easy.” I wasn’t backtracking. I wanted this. Wanted him. But we couldn’t go in blind. We were both afraid of relationships, albeit for different reasons, but nonetheless the fears were real. Acknowledging them was the only way we could possibly succeed. “We need to see a doctor. Get you started on PrEP before-”
“Truvada, right?”
My lips cracked into an uneven smile. “You really have been researching.” You really do want this.
“It’s important to me. You’re important to me. I didn’t get far because you turned up while I was looking online, but I know about the drug, and that I’ll need professional support. I know my track record but this feels different. It isn’t just a whim or a phase. It’s too strong.” Matt shook his head as if he couldn’t believe his own words. “I’m in this for the long haul, Alex, and I’ll prove it if you’ll let me.”
Tucking one leg under my ass, I shifted sideways so we were face to face. Dropping his hands, I pressed my palms onto Matt’s bare shoulders, slowly moving down his arms and flexing my fingers around the contours of his muscles. “This is insane,” I breathed, leaning forward and brushing my nose against the tip of his. “It doesn’t feel real.”
Tilting his head, Matt touched my lips with his, the sound of his designer stubble grazing against mine sending violent shivers down my spine. “How about this?” he murmured, followed by the tip of his tongue darting through his plump lips and tracing the corners of my mouth. “Does this feel real?”
I broke away just long enough to expel the long breath it felt like I’d been holding forever. I dug my ass into the soft leather, trying to loosen my restrictive pants that were so tight around my hard dick it felt like it might snap in two. I almost came in my underwear when he grabbed my hair, pulling my head to the side as he kissed a trail from my ear to my jaw.