Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“I see that, yes.”
“He wanted basically a female version of himself, Nadia, because he is quite similar to his own mother. Lennox is a caretaker. He is the quintessential definition of a strong protector. He wants a wife, babies, two dogs and a cat, the white picket fence, all of that, but he refused to settle. It had to be with the right person, and the person is you.” She smiled at that. “It has nothing to do with him wanting you to fill his mother’s shoes, or anything like that.”
“Okay, thanks for clearing that up.” She reached for her tea which had gone cold, and took a much-needed chug.
“I think you two will be magnificent together. You have similar goals and outlooks on life, and you appreciate your differences. As long as you both continue to try to compromise with one another, you’ll be fine. Any more questions, Queen, before I wrap this up?”
She took a deep breath and wondered if she should even say it…
“Yes, I have one more. About my father… I want to forgive him, Saint. But I’m struggling. You were right regarding what you said earlier about me and my father. I truly want to be able to let this go and heal.”
“First, have a serious conversation with your mother. Then, I want you to speak to your father as if he’s here. If that’s too difficult, write a letter to your father, and go to his grave and read it to him. Aloud. Say everything that you need to say, and then you must force yourself to let it go. I will send you my meditation book for free. Lastly, I want you to read my book, “Broken Black Highness.” It deals with racism, sexism, patriarchy, religious abuse and how this has directly affected Black women in America, and caused you all to be stuck in a never-ending cycle of your pain. Pay close attention to Chapter Seventeen. My wife experienced an absentee father too, okay?” He was speaking softly now, and his eyes shone with warmth and kindness. “I witnessed firsthand what can happen when a woman’s father abandons the family. Please read that chapter, and then feel free to follow up with me regarding any questions you may have.”
“Okay, thank you so much.” She reached for a tissue and dabbed at her eyes again. She felt completely drained, but also, in some strange way, hopeful and rejuvenated. He grabbed his remote and turned the music completely off. Leaning into his desk, he rested his hands upon it.
“Do you believe in prayer and a Higher Power, baby?”
“Yes.” She nodded, crying harder. “I do.”
“I know you do, or Lennox wouldn’t even be with you since that’s important to him, but I wanted to hear you say it yourself. I’m going to talk to you, off the record, and say a prayer for you, if that’s okay?”
“Okay, thank you so much.” She sniffed.
“Close your eyes, beautiful.” He spoke softly, his voice deep and warm like a brandy. It was healing. A spiritual balm.
She closed her eyes and listened. Suddenly, music began to play again. Robert Glasper’s, ‘Better Than I Imagined’, featuring H.E.R. and Meshell Ndegeocello. An instrumental version though. Her eyes immediately watered with emotion.
“Listen to the music… think about the man you love. Lennox. Go deep into your memory bank, and ponder how you two met, and how you felt about one another… The beauty of your friendship. It was unique, innocent, and divine.” She nodded and wiped a tear away, keeping her eyes closed. “Think about how it feels when he kisses you… his lips against yours… when he lays his head against your shoulder and hugs you… think about how it feels when he is inside of you, making love to you… Deep, deep, inside of you… strengthening your connection, becoming one.” She shuddered, feeling the sensation as if Lennox was right there.
“Your bond is beyond the physical. It’s made of iron. Evil is designed to try and destroy all that is good. All that is strong. Think about your strengths, Queen. You cause lust. Lust, in the way I am describing it, is a super power, Nadia. Not a sin. Lust, in the way I am describing it, is the unbridled desire of one person, for another person, with the intention of a happily ever after. Your man desires not only your body, but your mind, and your soul. You’re not a cheap thrill for him. You’re not dealing with a fan or a customer. He’s a real man who desires a real woman. Desire spawns excitement and creativity. New life comes forth.
“Most babies are created from sexual desire… and that’s beautiful. A desire to be loved, and in love. A desire to be close to someone who makes us feel good physically, and makes us feel special. You make this man feel special. You’ve brought him literally to his knees, as only a good Queen Lust can. He paid you nothing, and you didn’t have to pay with your soul. When he claimed you and told you that he wanted you to be his woman, he didn’t want you to take anything off, except for your defenses. He wanted you to let him inside. Not inside your pussy, ass or mouth, but your mind and heart.”