Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
All I wanted was to clear things up with Emma, though.
I jogged after her, catching her as soon as she broke off from a conversation with her mom.
"Emma, wait."
"I have work to do." But she didn't pull away.
"Let me take you to dinner. A real restaurant this time, not questionable tacos. We can talk about—"
"About what?" She finally met my gaze. "About how some things aren't meant to be? How obstacles only get worse?" She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Message received, James. Loud and clear."
As much as I wanted to tell her she had it all wrong, something buried deep inside made me freeze. No words came out. All I could do was watch the hurt well in her eyes as she spun and made a disgusted noise before stepping into the elevator.
It was only after the doors closed that I felt the odd sensation of paralysis pass.
What the hell was that?
It was like my own body had betrayed me, like it was too damn scared to let me put my trust in someone again—even just enough to say that maybe some things were worth fighting for after all.
23
EMMA
"Alright, dish," Maggie said through my phone. "And don't skimp on the details just because you're in a weird place right now."
I glanced around the resort's indoor rock climbing area, where I'd wandered after my disastrous conversation with James. The massive room was mostly empty this late, with just a few die-hard climbers covered in chalk and pulling themselves up by chunks of plastic that were the size of small boogers.
I wasn’t sure how the hell they did it.
I'd come here hoping the physical exertion would clear my head, but three attempts at the beginner wall had only left me with sore arms and an overwhelming desire to cry. I’d also failed to summon the courage to fall onto the thick mat from any higher than about two feet in the air.
Total fail.
"I'm not in a weird place," I said, settling onto a bench. "I'm in a perfectly normal place for someone who keeps making out with the guy who ruined her career. Because he’ll never find me here."
"Oh honey." Maggie's voice softened. "You really like him, don't you?"
"No. Maybe. I don't know." I watched a muscular guy effortlessly scale one of the harder routes without even using his feet. Show off.
"It's complicated," I sighed.
"When isn't it? Come on, start from the beginning. What happened after the pool incident?"
I filled her in on everything—the sleigh ride, the wildlife tour, and especially the conversation at Terry's Tiny Tacos that had made everything so much worse.
"Let me get this straight," Maggie said when I finished. "You basically asked if he thought some relationships were worth fighting for—meaning yours—and he went on about how obstacles only get worse?"
"While talking about his ex-wife," I added miserably. "Who, by the way, married his brother after cheating on him with said brother. And apparently still hooks up with the brother even though she's married to someone else now."
"Jesus. That's some Jerry Springer level drama."
"Right? No wonder he has commitment issues." I picked at a loose thread on my leggings where I’d torn them on a handhold. "But that's kind of the point. He's clearly not over what happened. And even if he was... I mean, look at us. I plan weddings. He ruins them. That's a pretty big obstacle."
"Only if you let it be." Maggie's eye roll was practically audible. "Have you considered that maybe you're both just scared?"
"I'm not scared," I protested. "I'm being realistic. The wedding is in four days, Maggie. Four. Days. And I still don't know if he's going to wreck it."
"Have you asked him?"
"Oh sure, great idea. 'Hey James, quick question—planning to destroy my sister's happiness and my career again, or can I pencil you in for a real date after the reception?'"
"Better than whatever dance you two are doing now," Maggie said. "Admit it. You’re scared. He hurt you once, and you’re worried the second time will be even worse than the first.”
I watched the show-off climber reach the top of his route. "Fine. Maybe I am scared. Happy?"
"Ecstatic. Now we're getting somewhere. What exactly are you afraid of?"
"Everything?" I slumped against the wall. "I'm afraid he'll wreck the wedding. I'm afraid he won't wreck the wedding and my sister will end up married to someone awful. I'm afraid of falling for him only to find out it meant nothing to him. Again."
"How do you know it didn’t mean anything to him? You two went your separate ways, sure, but who says he hasn’t been pining for you ever since? How do you know the opportunity to jump in and play fake boyfriend wasn’t a dream come true for him?"
I thought about how he'd held me after my fall, the way he'd babied my barely twisted ankle the other day, and how his touch always lingered longer than necessary. I thought of the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.