Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
“Yeah, right,” she sneered at me.
“Why the fuck are you so bitter?” I bit out. Her eyes widened in shock at my angry tone. But I was so done with her fakeness. She was hurting everyone around her, and it wasn’t fair to them. If she wanted to be miserable, she could go be miserable by herself.
“What the fuck do you even have to be bitter about? Julian is bending over backward to give you the care that you need to learn to overcome this shit, and you’re shitting all over that by basically saying he doesn’t give a fuck about you.” She opened her mouth to speak, but I put my hand up to her. “I’m not fucking done.” Julian leaned back in his chair as he rubbed soothing circles on the back of my hand, letting me rant. Axel was silent next to me, but his hand never left my thigh.
“If Julian didn’t give a shit about you, Alli, he would have told Axel to fuck off and figure this shit out himself. He wouldn’t have come to your aid when you tried overdosing on antidepressants despite me being in the room with the three of you. He knew how it made me feel to see him holding your hand, but for once, Julian put someone else above me for your greater good. But he doesn’t give a shit, right? I took everyone from you, yeah?”
My hands were beginning to shake. I was fucking furious. She was almost twenty, and yet, she was still acting like a fucking child.
“Don’t even get me started on your brother, Alli. You know he gave up the chance to play pro-ball so he could continue studying psychology?” Her eyes widened in shock. They flickered to Axel, who was staring at me in shock. I wasn’t supposed to know that, but I’d seen the email one day by accident. “Your brother feels so shitty about you never getting the proper help that he turned down a multi-million dollar contract so that he could help people like you. But he doesn’t care about you, right? It’s always all about me? Do you know how often I find your brother awake at night, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what the fuck he could have done differently to save you from spiraling? He never knew I noticed, but this shit bothers the fuck out of your brother. He just wants you to get better; he wants to help you get better, Alli, and you don’t give two fucks about any of it because you’re so focused on hating me.”
I rested my hand on my belly as my little boy began to furiously kick. “And why?” I asked her. “Why put so much effort into hating me? All of this extra effort could have been put towards something productive like learning coping skills or getting all of the anger out of your system. Why the fuck do you hate me so much?” I demanded to know.
She stayed silent. I scoffed. “You don’t even know, do you?” I leaned forward. “I was in your shoes once, Alli. I wanted to hate someone, something—fucking anything, really. But unlike you, I turned all of that hate on myself, which was even more destructive than what you’re doing. But I hated feeling like shit all the time. I hated all the darkness, and I wanted out. I wanted light—hope.”
I shook my head. “But if you don’t want that light, don’t want that hope, fucking speak up now so my men can stop wasting their time. I have been begging these two men to help you when you get released. I couldn’t bear the thought that you might be alone when you get out of this place. I was so focused on making sure that you got help that I didn’t even realize I was hurting myself in the process.”
She was unflinching, unmoving, as if my words didn’t even faze her. I clenched my jaw. “You’re going to lead one miserable, bitter life, Alli. I don’t know why you pretend so much to be getting a grasp on your shit for Dr. Gresham, but you can quit now, because he’s finally seen that you’re fighting this every step of the way. It’s been four months now, Alli. Grow the fuck up.”
I stood up and spun on my heel, heading for the door. Both Axel and Julian moved to get up, but I shook my head at them. “Stay. I’m going to find Mrs. Evelyn. Maybe she can sneak me peanut butter.”
With that, I strode out of the room, so much anger running through my veins on behalf of the two men in that room that it was almost a bit much to deal with.
They just wanted to see her get better, just wanted her better enough to come home.