Total pages in book: 162
Estimated words: 154728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 774(@200wpm)___ 619(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 154728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 774(@200wpm)___ 619(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
Defensives on high alert, I turned, ready to end whoever might have any thoughts of putting my baby in danger.
My brother entered the room.
He had a raised brow, communicating that he saw my stance, felt my aggression.
I relaxed instantaneously.
“It’s past visiting hours,” I greeted my brother, trying to slow my blood pressure. I’d gotten a taste of uncontrollable rage when DuBois put his hands on Avery, but now with Mabel, it felt like another well inside of me had just been opened. I feared it and welcomed it at the same time. I would take down fucking regimes if they threatened my daughter. Face armies with nothing but my bare hands to protect her.
“Those are just suggestions,” Knox replied.
I shook my head, smiling and swallowing that cool rage.
He clapped me on the shoulder, a rare sign of affection from him. “Congratulations … Dad.”
I smirked at him in response, feeling fucking overwhelmed that that’s what I was. Someone’s dad.
Her dad.
Knox was holding something in his hand.
My smirk turned into a grin.
“Wouldn’t have pegged you as a soft toy kind of guy, but it suits you.”
My brother, in his black suit, wearing all his shadows and demons, was holding a pink bunny.
He ignored me and stepped forward so he could look in the bassinet.
When Mabel let out a squeak, I was quick to lay my hand back on her swaddled chest. She calmed instantly.
Knox didn’t say anything. He just stared.
I was happy to stand in silence and stare at the most precious being that ever lived. Could’ve done it forever.
Knox leaned forward, and I tensed. Even though it was my brother, the one who would die to protect me and in turn, Mabel, he was still a predator. An ancient instinct in my body recognized that.
I knew that Knox saw me tense because that’s who he was, but he didn’t react.
He just placed that bunny in the corner of her bassinet, pausing his hand by her head, hovering as if to touch her before pulling it away, a fist at his side.
It hurt me, fucking killed, actually, that the simple act of touching his newborn niece wasn’t possible for my brother. I couldn’t read his mind, but I could guess that he considered himself too tarnished, too dirty, to sully Mabel.
“She’s beautiful,” Knox whispered.
I nodded. “More than beautiful.”
We stood for a while longer. “She’s gonna need an uncle,” I encouraged quietly. “I know that she already has one who will protect her from all the monsters of this world. But I’m gonna ask that you give her one who will sit with her, have tea parties, whatever the fuck. If that’s out of reach, one who will be there for Christmas.” I glanced at my brother. “Time to find a way out of the shadows, brother. I want this for you.” I motioned to Avery and Mabel. “More than that, you deserve this.”
Knox didn’t say anything for a long while. “One day, long fucking time ago, I might’ve deserved this. But not now. Not after what I’ve done. Who I am. You’ve gotta make your peace with that, brother. I’ll protect her from the monsters of this world, but I can’t sit and have tea with her because I am one of those monsters.”
It hit me in the chest, the surety in which he spoke. And it hit me even harder that part of me might’ve agreed with him.
I opened my mouth to argue once I shut up the shitty part of me I was deeply ashamed of.
But Knox had already turned, heading out of the room.
I didn’t try to stop him, just sighed, looking at my daughter then the pink bunny in her crib.
My brother thought he was beyond saving, but that pink bunny proved he wasn’t.
He just couldn’t be saved by me.
Or himself.
If there was anything I’d learned this past year, it was that the right woman could save a man, one who’d thought he was undeserving.
Two women, I corrected, staring at my daughter while hoping, praying, my brother would find that.
I continued watching Mabel for another hour.
AVERY
Our first night in the hospital was exhausting.
I snatched a few hours of sleep at the beginning of the night, but that was mostly it.
Mabel was restless. She constantly wanted to be held by me or her dad.
I was in too much pain to do things as simple as reaching over the bed to lift her from the hospital bassinet. It was infuriating, humbling and deeply distressing that I couldn’t go to my daughter.
Kane did all the heavy lifting, even changed his first diaper. He did it like he’d done it a thousand times before, kissing Mabel lightly on the head, murmuring some lullaby.
I didn’t have to lift a finger. Never mind that I physically couldn’t do much more than shuffle off the bed, taking me about ten minutes to reach the ground. And when I did reach the ground, blood rushed out of me, puddling on the floor.