Total pages in book: 162
Estimated words: 154728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 774(@200wpm)___ 619(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 154728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 774(@200wpm)___ 619(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
He kissed my neck. “I’ll be here, and I’ll do whatever needs to be done to help you feel less broken. First off, you’re gonna do something I know you’re not used to. And granted, I’m no expert, but I’m thinkin’ the key to all of this is not trying to do everything yourself. You don’t gotta suck it up and figure out a way to white knuckle it. Your mom and sister are here for that reason. And yeah, there’s a lot of messy history sittin’ at the door, waiting to be unpacked, but it can wait. For now, let them help. Let me help. And for fuck’s sake, give yourself some goddamn grace.”
Tears burned my eyes, and I struggled to contain them.
I wiped angrily at my face. “I’ve cried more since she was born than I have my entire life,” I hiccupped.
Kane wiped another tear. “Again, babe, you’re close to it, but you’re not Superwoman. You’ve gone through the biggest identity shift you probably ever will in your entire life. Plus, the hormone drop. So I’ll repeat my earlier statement. Give yourself some goddamn grace. Humans cry. Even ice queens melt.” He winked at me.
I let out a sound between a sob and a laugh.
I watched Mabel’s body move ever so slightly in the monitor, recognizing it as the telltale sign she was about to wake.
My body seemed to hum with exhaustion, if such a thing were possible.
Kane looked down at the monitor. “Let’s go get our girl.”
Once I was settled in bed, he brought her upstairs, and the second I was done feeding her, he expertly transferred her to his chest.
“I got her. How about you get some sleep? You know it’ll be two more hours until this boob hound is back at it,” he joked with a smile.
“You need sleep too,” I mumbled, my lids already drooping.
“Uh-huh. Unfortunately, I’m not Superman either, so I do need mortal things like sleep,” he pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I’ll put her in her crib soon, but we’re gonna cuddle first.” He laid his lips on Mabel’s head as he gently patted her back.
And that’s how I fell asleep, watching Kane cradle our daughter.
True to his prediction, she was awake two hours later.
We were on the sofa. We being me and Mabel and my mother.
Some TV show was playing in the background. I’d tried to follow it but had started and stopped the first episode about three different times, rewinding it because even though I was staring straight at it, I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was about.
Mabel was curled up on my chest, napping. In her short life, she had not napped anywhere that wasn’t on me or my mom or my sister or her father. Maybe that was why she was so opposed to the bedside bassinet that I’d toiled over purchasing. Even if that was the case, even if I could stand to set her down instead of having her heavy warmth on my chest or her little hands clenched in mine, none of my family would be able to heed that request.
I was resigned to being nap-trapped, lying on the sofa, trying to concentrate on watching a show, trying to keep my eyes open since I knew that even if I attempted to fall asleep, I wouldn’t be able to. My mind didn’t let me.
Kane was on a call in the next room. Life had completely stopped for me. Life being anything resembling what I had before Mabel came into the picture. I’d made it clear to Heidi that I wasn’t coming back to the restaurant. Ferris was now head chef, a bittersweet moment for sure. I trusted him with the kitchen, knew that he was capable and great food would still come out of there, but that change made it permanent. I wasn’t going back to New York.
Beyond the job, New York wasn’t me anymore. I knew that in my heart of hearts. Jupiter felt like home now. It felt like the right place to raise Mabel, even when a small part of me was struggling to accept our new reality.
A quiet, coastal town that was a three hours’ drive away from my mother and sister.
For now and for the foreseeable future, this baby on my chest was my life. I’d made as much peace as I could with that, but my mind stewed over Kane.
He was speaking with a new manager now. Though he’d tried to downplay it, he’d been getting a lot of requests for interviews, sponsorships, invitations to events, requests to compete in races.
Kane had disappeared after getting released from prison, but the zeitgeist had not forgotten about him. No, he was more in demand now than ever with entire websites and social media accounts dedicated to ‘finding’ him.