Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“I don’t think he’s lying. He has plenty of money, so if he wants, he can do amazing things with it. It’s a shame he can only do kind things if it benefits him in some way. And I wish I knew what that is.”
“Does that mean you’re considering it?” He finally makes eye contact, and I can see his hope, his desperation.
“Jonas, I want to help you, but the other night, you said that was your first time. What exactly have you done with guys before?”
“Nothing.”
“And you said you took a pill. I didn’t even think to ask, but are you straight?”
“Yes.”
Fuck.
“And no,” he amends. “I don’t know. I’ve always considered myself straight. Then the other night, I was nervous and scared, but when we got going…” He hesitates. “I enjoyed myself.”
Why are my cheeks getting warm? I’m glad he’s blushing too.
“You had a good time?” I don’t know why I fucking asked that; he just told me he did. Maybe because it’s been so long, I was worried I’d be shit at it. Or maybe because I wanted to know he enjoyed it as much as I had.
“Yeah,” he says.
“I felt kind of guilty for how much I enjoyed it.”
“Well, you shouldn’t,” he says with a subtle smirk.
This is fucking wild. As if I needed an extra layer of fucked up to all this. The guy my brother hired to fuck me turns out to be straight, but he enjoyed it? What does that even mean?
Unfortunately, we can’t take our time sussing out the details. If we stay out here too long, Simon will figure out what we’re really doing back here.
“What has to happen so you can fulfill your part of the deal? How far do we have to take this?”
“He’ll go ahead and get my sister in the treatment program as long as we’re messing around. And if we make it to September, he’ll continue paying for it for as long as she needs it.”
“I’m glad to hear he won’t be waiting, but messing around until September? Jesus, that’s, like, five months.”
“I know. If it’s too hard…”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just a real commitment for both of us. We need to know where we stand because there’s no point to starting something neither of us is willing to finish.”
His jaw clenches. “I’m willing to finish this. I have to finish this.”
I see his intensity, his determination. I’m not going to be the one to deprive him of what could be life-changing for him and his family. It begs a question, one that was already on my mind, but I didn’t feel it was right to push. “You mentioned your aunt, but not your mother or father. Simon told me…”
I stop myself.
That determination I saw moments earlier fades, and his gaze shifts to the ground. “Yeah, they, um, aren’t with us anymore.” He gulps. “They’ve both passed.”
“Mine too.” I don’t even realize I spoke the words until his gaze shifts to me.
“Yes, I read that.”
We know so little about one another, but as we gaze into each other’s eyes, it feels like we know too much. A warmth moves through me. It feels good to be seen by someone else who knows this pain.
I break eye contact first. “Okay,” I say, since I’ve already pried more than I should. And shown him more than I should. “If we’re gonna do this, we need to have some ground rules.”
“Right.”
“Notes are risky. It makes sense we might pass notes to each other if we’re an item, but you can’t read them inside. You have to get away from the house. I don’t know how good his security cameras are, but if he can zoom in and see anything we’re saying, game over. Got it?”
He nods.
“And we can’t meet out here too much, so again, this has to be reserved for emergency situations.”
“I get that.”
“As far as your phone and electronics, you can’t use any of it to look up stuff he hasn’t mentioned to you.”
“Yeah, I assumed he might be savvy enough to get onto my history, so I’ve been careful.”
I’m impressed. “Smart thinking. You’re gonna have to think like that a lot moving forward. We should also come up with some hand signals. Like with the notes, we can’t use them too much or he’ll catch on, so again, just for emergencies.”
“Good idea.” He sounds like he’s letting me call all the shots. Maybe it’s because he appreciates that I’m the expert when it comes to dealing with one of Simon’s mindfucks. He wouldn’t be wrong there.
“And I don’t want Morgan and Forsyth to know we’re messing around,” I go on. “It’s only gonna complicate work stuff, so everything we do, we do in private, off the clock. And even though I know he’s not technically paying you to work, you have to keep on with that because if you start slacking and I’m not making a big fuss about it, Simon will know something’s up.”