Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
If he touches me, will he close his eyes and think of her? I’m messed up. I wasn’t sure just how messed up until now. Zach losing his wedding band on the hilltop where we had sex and his reaction to it has left me brimming with self-doubt.
“Shut it off.”
I lift my gaze as he kneels on the floor in front of me.
“Your mind.” He grins. “Shut it off.”
“How?”
“Fill it with other thoughts.” He leans forward, resting his hands on my legs while kissing my neck.
My fingertips tease the nape of his neck. “You can’t tell me you’re not thinking about Suzie.”
Zach sighs and sits back on his heels, head bowed. “I think about her. I don’t think there will ever come a time where I don’t think about her. I can’t erase her from my mind. I don’t want to erase her from my mind.” He lifts his gaze to mine. “Remember when I told you that I went to the store and didn’t think about her because I was thinking about groceries?”
I nod slowly.
“It’s because she’s gone. She’s not here to be the object of my affection. She’s not waiting for me at home. She will never climb into our bed. She will never walk through that backdoor with dirt smudged on her face and a basketful of vegetables. I’ll never hear her laugh again. I’ll never feel her touch. But I also know she will never be erased from your mind either. And that’s why it’s different with you. In a way … we were three and now we’re two.”
I slide my feet between his spread knees, and he grabs my calves, shifting his gaze to my face. “I’m afraid of not knowing where we’re going,” I say. “I’m afraid that we can’t stay on the same path and still be true to our other passions, and that eventually our paths will just stop crossing. So … I guess I need to know where you see us going?”
After a few breaths, he shrugs. “I see us going to the bedroom.”
My grin sneaks to the surface without permission. “What will we do in the bedroom?”
Zach stands on his knees again and unbuttons his jeans. Then he shrugs off his shirt.
My gaze makes the slow journey from his open jeans, along the taut terrain of his abs and chest, to his confident grin. When our gazes lock, he nods toward me.
My grin inflates because the man I never ever imagined would be with me is gesturing for me to take off my shirt so he can see me.
So he can touch me.
So I can be the object of his affection.
I slide my shirt over my head.
Another gesturing nod from him.
I remove my bra.
Zach wets his lips, letting his gaze linger on my breasts for a few seconds before dragging it to my face. “Stand up.”
It’s pathetic how I’m a robot to his every command. I stand, but he doesn’t.
Sucking my nipple into his mouth, he works the button and zipper to my jeans. He peels them down my legs along with my panties. Before I can step out of them, he stands and lifts me off the ground in a big bear hug.
“Zach!” I giggle as he waddles with his jeans at his knees. “Not yours,” I say, stopping him from taking me to his bedroom—to their bedroom. “Just … not yet.”
He doesn’t say a word. Instead, he carries me to my bedroom and sets me on my feet.
I kick off my jeans and panties.
“Do you even know how beautiful you are?” he whispers, pausing my motions, demanding I look at him and hear the sincerity in his words.
Those words wrap around my heart, one chamber at a time, an invisible vapor filling every empty space.
“Zach …” I take a step into him, pressing my hands flat on his chest and touching my lips to his sternum over his heart.
He gathers my hair and pulls it off my shoulder, kissing along my collarbone, and it makes me shiver, awaking that kaleidoscope of butterflies in my tummy.
“Cold?” He brings his head up to look at me.
I shake my head.
“Your teeth are chattering.”
I bite them together and swallow. “I’m nervous.”
“It’s not our first time.” Zach brushes his knuckles along my cheek.
“It’s our first time like this. The other side of the world felt like a cocoon.”
“Then let’s make a cocoon.” He pulls back the covers. “Get in.”
He removes the rest of his clothes and slides into bed on one side as I slowly do the same on the other side. My breath catches when he whips the sheet and comforter over our heads.
“Cocoon,” he says before he kisses his way down my body.
I can’t see much under the covers, but I can feel everything. His hands cupping my breasts as he settles his chest between my legs.